Raindrops

2012-01-29T22:22:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Saturday, 28 January.

Woke up quite early today! Went out with my parents and Feizhuzhu that adorable lil boy up in those photos. It was quite a long journey to Loyang temple and i guess it's my, 5th, 6th visit? Evy year we'll have to have some prayers at that place during CNY period.

After the prayers, we were suppose to have our dinner at some restaurant at East Coast but to my horror! The restaurant's opening time for lunch is 1130 - 0230 and it was 3 alrdy when we were waiting for the bus. I was pissed, i was really anticipating it! Oh well, had our lunch at some market instead, notice the BIG CHANGE in venue.....

Around 4, i slipped off to meet bibi. hehehe

Met up with him at Tampiness and we shopped around Tampiness Mall. Decided to head to Changi Airport for our dinner and the Airport is just so beautiful! I like how it's decorated, i like how things at that place are designed, i just love the smell of the airport! It gives me a sense of freedom, like you're no longer in Singapore where you're bounded with rules. Hehe. I wanted to eat Texas Chicken for dinner and i was so sure that it's located somewhere in Changi Airport. So we went from T3, to T2 and T1 just to look for it but we cant find it anywhere! Ended up having Astons for our dinner.

I picked up a pamphlet and it's a booklet introducing us to the Changi Airport, guess wad? I flipped and i flipped and i flipped, there is no Taxas Chicken this fast food restaurant in the Airport at all! HAHA! So sorry baby, like ur determination to look for it though! Hehe

We had a really nice day at the Changi Airport, roaming about and having fun! It was an awesome evening i had spent with bi. We took the bus 858 home from the Airport and he fell asleep. Woke that cute boy when we're at Khatib. He walked me home and waited for me when i went to get my keys from my parents who was somewhere in Khatib. Ended up both of my parents didnt have the key with them. Oh well, the door wasnt even locked.

I like today a lot and hope to see you soon baby. Here are the photos taken by baby, without edits! I'm too lazy.. I posted evything, even the unglams, okay, who cares. hehe.

Without lights.
Yours.

2012-01-27T22:33:00.004+08:00

Tuesday, 24 Jan.

Chu er's outfit!

It's the second day of the CNY and i went out for house visiting with my family agn. Headed to my grandma's hse, followed by two other houses of my dad's fren. Splendid collection of red packets! Hehe

Weds, 25 Jan.

The so-sian feeling you get when you need to go back to sch after a long break! Had oral after sch, it wasn't as good as i expected.. My examiner was shocked after i finished my reading, she asked, 'you're done?!' Once again, i committed my old flaw, the speed i carried was wayyy too fast, like a bullet-train or instant noodles being cooked. Upset!

Family ordered KFC delivery for dinner and oh, i had my second lou hei for the year with my family! :)

Yesterday, Thursday, 26 Jan.
Almost late for sch today, and hey, look, it's a Thursday, -.-! Many thanks to the bus 811, it took about 20mins plus to arrive, im so grateful and appreciative for that yo. It's a long thursday, ended lesson at 0320 and i headed off to Northpoint.

Couldnt find seats at Starbucks so i had to awkwardly find a corner-seat in Macs. Was diligently doing my homework while waiting for baby and about 40mins ltr, the Mac Donald lady chased me away... Continued my work at Ishi Mura instead. Soon, met up with bi and I BOUGHT TAKO, agn.. HAHA!

Slacked around with bi and we walked home. :)

Was damn sleepy when i got home!

Today, Friday, 27 Jan.

Bought this in sch today and i pinned it on my shirt.....

OH HI IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY! And i went to sch late today, i mean, it was on purpose. Woke up around 6 and i badly need to close my eyes awhile more. Woke up around 640 and i prepared myself slowly. Reached sch about 8am, just a lil late for the first lesson.

Had our 2.4 agn today and GUESS WHAT, my timing improved by 30secs! I'm pretty pleased with that although i still failed it. Oh well, i can do it! Hehe. Had our English compre test immediately after the run and i was feeling so sleepy, esp it's after a tedious run.

Last two periods was physics and Matin was absent agn. Was tryna escape from the relief teacher but got a scolding instead. Haha!

Went for PT session after sch and it lasted quite long today. Stayed in sch for a lil while and i head off to Northpoint to meet baby.

Got my starbucks card done and i'm feeling so happy! Registered my card on the spot and got the free drink immediately. Met up with bi and we caught All Well Ends Well at Northpoint GV. The awkward moment when the movie starts playing and you realise that wasnt what you wanted to watch... Hmm. I wanted to watch some Singapore movie but we kinda watched a HongKong one instead. Oh well, Hongkong movies attracts my attention a lot more! It was stupid but really got me laughing non-stop! Thumbs up for it! :)

Bi walked me home agn.

It's about a few years.
A while more.

2012-01-24T00:00:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday, 22nd Jan - Chinese New Year's Eve.

It wasnt a really nice new year eve that i had, spent it at granny's hse and it was rather boring. Had a simple dinner and i had my first lou hei! Mummy and papa ordered a chocolate cake too, sort of a CNY goodie for ppl who are coming over to my place. And i guess, my brothers and i would be eating most of it instead. HEHE

Dear went back to Malaysia and i miss you so much!

Today, Monday, 23rd January - HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Woke up around nine in the morning and the first thing i wanna do is check FB on my phone to reply my dear, fell asleep while chatting with him last night! Miss you loads

The first family that visited us was Xiao Cao Mei and Xiao Dian Chi! Awww, those two lovely kids made me so happy. My Fei zhu zhu was really busy with the CNY goodies, he tried to open all of the bottles to have a taste of each and evy goodie, HOW CUTEEE. They stayed just for a lil while, maybe even less than 30mins. It happens evy year.

Around 12, me and my family headed to my dad's place at Queenstown like evy other year. It kinda gets a lil boring with the repetition of things.. Oh well, the atmostphere over there was really.. Dull and boring. Not much ppl around and we left rather early. Nxt up was my granny's place, which is my mum's side at AMK. It was much more livelier and i had fun catching up with my relatives! Guess wad, i slept for about 2hours on my granny's bed, hehe. Woke up around 8 and we left. Had our dinner at Pizza Hut.

Right now, i'm pretty tired and sleepy. Guess this year's new year isnt as fun as those years when i was younger. Those years where we still wanna stay longer and have fun. Nowadays, it kinda gets boring and the amount of red packets really decreased, bit by bit evy year. Dont you guys think so? Hmm. Well, it's gonna be another round of house-visiting tmr. And bi is coming back tmr! Happyyyyyy :')

Really happy for the past few days. I feel so blissful and happy! Hope im gonna carry on this way. Enjoy the last day of holidays evyone! Happy Chinese New Year!

Give me a hug,

I'll return you ten.

2012-01-21T15:46:00.004+08:00

Thursday, 19th Jan.
Almost late for sch this morning! Waited nearly 30mins for the bus and im so glad i still manage to step in sch on time. Lessons were short today, BECAUSE DISMISSAL TIME IS AT 12PM! It was also the last day of lessons before we have our CNY holidays!

After sch, had subway for lunch at northpoint and saw the others who were buying gifts for Ms Yong's bday. Joined in the fun and returned home about 3pm.

Immediately took my nap the moment i got home.

Friday, 20th Jan.
Chinese New Year Celebrations today! Got to class pretty early today! The CNY performance this year was a lil boring like usual. The ski put up by the teachers were kinda nice though, clap hands! But it was rather disappointing that our class didnt got first for the CNY classroom decorations, a lot of us were expecting us to get the first place. Oh well, at least we have done our best! :)

After the celebrations, we celebrated Ms Yong's birthday! Really like how our class got so united and bonded. Hehe

My card for Ms Yong

After enjoying the cake, i quickly headed home to change. Met bi around 12 and we went to J8 agn. Bi bought his stuff at Cotton On without much delay, im amazed at his speed. Hehe. We bought two similar sunglasses too, one for him and one for me!

Had our lunch at Ajisen Ramen, it was my first time, hehe. We both ate Tom Yam noodles along with some side dishes and i'm giving a thumbs-up for it! The noodles was a lil too spicy but i enjoy my meal a lot! Shopped around J8 for a while before we head to town.

So when we got to town, we walk and walk and walk and shop and shop and shop! Bi was still looking for his clothes and im looking for my dress as well as gifts. Didnt manage to find much stuffs in the end, despite the walking of miles. HAHA! And guess wad, i ate Tako agn! Hehe. It was a really tiring day but i had loads of fun with baby. Didnt manage to take any photos with my phone, lucky baby took them in his. Hope to be able have another date with you soon! :')

Return home pretty early today because i had to have my reunion dinner with my family. It had been a year since we last had steamboat and i got excited about it. But...... ummm. Currently facing some family issues here, i doubt i will even be baking those cookies. Hope they will be resort soon. Chinese new year in about two days time! Weeeee

Blow those pain away for me.
I'm only left with you.

2012-01-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

Monday, 16 Jan.
MONDAY BLUES. Did i hit off the week well? I've forgotten..

Met bi after sch and we to went J8 to shop for his stuff. Shopped around and it was rather fruitful though we didnt bought much. And we ate Tako! Weeeee

Baby sent me home and i really dunno what to say anymore......... NICE DAY IN SHORT.

Tuesday, 17 Jan.
Almost late for sch this morning! Glad we didnt have to run our rounds during PE! Had fun playing handball. Oh, had our SS test and i kinda forgot loads of points to write. argh!

Felt really unwell for the rest of the day. My stomach cramps were eating me up, biting me and swallowing me down. It hurts so freaking bad that i didnt have the mood to enjoy the CNY classroom deco judging. THATS SO SAD, IT'S MY LAST YEAR IDIOTS. :(

Headed home straight after sch with my tummy still feeling that gun-shot pain.

Wednesday, 18 Jan.
I'm so bored.......

It's a thurday tmr, other than the extra hour of nap, WE'RE GONNA BE RELEASE THAT 12PM. Weeee! And friday's the CNY celebrations. Glad this short week is finally coming to an end. CNY, I cant wait for ya!

Have you ever wonder how it felt like?
Ease my thoughts.

2012-01-15T22:58:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, Saturday, 14 January.
These few words kinda haven't came out from me yet, HAPPY 14th MONTHSARY BABY. It wasn't a pleasant day for us. I rmb the last two 14 we had was similarly not enjoyable. We fought and i complained about certain stuff.. I guess i ought to be contented with what i have instead of complaining. Hope the next 14 would be pleasant, it's a special 14 C:

Around the afternoon, headed to my dad's place with my mummy and the baby. Had steamboat with his family and it was awkward like always. I mean, i dont even know how am i suppose to address them so i just presented a nod and an, not-so-smile-smile.

The rest of the day is just.......

Today, Sunday, 15 January.
Woke up around 9 this morning. The rest of the day was..... Speechless

Argh. i know i should not have blogged today but i felt like i have got loads of burdens to unload from my chest. Sometimes i just dont know what went wrong with myself and that urge to release certain anger. Sometimes i just need to let you know how much i hate things that i dont wish there is a repetition. Sometimes i'm just sad, really sad and i want you to make me happy so i got to let you know i'm depressed, i'm desperate, i'm in need of ur affection, i yearn for those mushy lovey words, i want you to cheer me up by all means, i just need you there for me.

Perhaps i expressed things in a wrong way. At times, i do know it's my fault, my defence for myself would grew stronger instead of apologising though. Sorry, i'm really sorry. You dont have to apologise each time something went wrong, you got to tell me where did i went wrong in my thinkings and dont forgot to be nice, and i mean, nice.. heheheh

Hurtful words, insulting phrases and hating sentences, when people said it during a fight, do they really mean it or they're just tryna be aggresive? It pains my heart, my bleeding heart that was alrdy broken. Do you have anything to say to me?

Cheh, gonna get comments saying i'm emo. HELL NO. Emo at times, but happiness dont drift away from me that easily, LOSER.

K. I cant wait for CNY! I cant wait to put on the pretty lil blue dress from baby and to receive those red envelopes non-stop. Not to forget, CHINESE NEW YEAR GOODIES AND HOLIDAYS. One more week.

Ciaos, nights, sweet dreams for me, nightmares for you. xoxo

It comes by so swifty but it's invisible,
catch it.

2012-01-13T21:39:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, 11th Jan.
It was finally the last day of Talent ID and the last event for the sec 4 shooters. I really enjoyed myself for the past three days, fooling around and spending those few hours tgt with my group! :')

Yesterday, Thursday 12th Jan.
LOVE THURSDAYS MORNINGS. Woke up around 7 and it just feels so much better with that extra hour of slp! Lessons all the way to 0320pm and time kinda did passed fast. Had loads of double periods which means just a couple of subjects, it did made me felt like time would pass fast.

Last period was Emaths and Mr yong taught us rather quick so we ended lessons about 13mins earlier. WEEEEE! Maths lessons seems to be more interesting nowadays and im kinda having a lil confidence over here with this subject. GONNA WORK TO GET RID OF DOUBTS! Anw, after lesson ended, met Ms Zhang for a while to discuss about some History stuff.

It was about 4, headed to Northpoint, found a comfy seat at Starbucks and i started doing my work while waiting for bi. Around 5 he came. We bought TAKO!! HEHE. Bought a lot more food from the pasar malam opposite Yishun Mrt - muah chee, tapioca kuay, fries, some noodles and a drink! Headed to Seletar with all the food and had a 'mini picnic'! Nice afternoon spent with bibi! :')

Today, Friday, 13th Jan.

WOWOWOWOWOW FRIDAY THE 13TH, SO IS EVYONE GONNA 'DIE' TGT?

Finally it's Friday after a long week! Really love Fridays, not only it being the last day of the week for sch, we are dismissed at 1225. Lessons went really quick today. First two periods was Emaths and Mr Yong gave us a lot advices for our studies like usual. Had a 30mins Maths test which i hope i will be able to do it well!

Nxt period was PE and we had to run our 2.4 agn. Nowadays i just got that, HEY-BRO-I-REALLY-NEED-TO-IMPROVE-THIS-SHIT-MAN feeling. Just wanna get it over and done with since it's my last year. Tried really hard and i even timed myself with my watch. Didnt had a good timing today but i really had loads of improvement from those usual PE lessons.

Double period of English and we had our compo test. Felt quite good about it as i was in the writing mood. Hope i wont do so badly with my grammar and spelling mistakes all over the essay. Last two periods was Physics and DING DONG! TIME FOR DISMISSAL! Went for PT training after sch and very lil seniors turned up...........................................

It was quite fun anw! I guess it's good to have some exercise.

Guess what i did today? I headed to northpoint, found the exacte same old comfy seat and did my work at Starbucks agn. HAHA! Waited for bi till about 4. Bought Subway for lunch! Finally i was able to enjoy this sexy sandwich. And we bought some caramel drink at Mc Cafe too. Brought the stuffs to the CC near Northpoint and i was suppose to be studying. But after i finished my sandwich, didnt felt like carrying on with my work. Hehe

We walked to some place somewhere and slacked. No idea whats that called but it was really beautiful! The HDB flats ruined the scenery though.. Wicked blocks. AND OH MY. We wanted to buy fries at the coffee shop opposite Yishun Safra and it was once again, UNAVAILABLE. Sadness crept all over me, WHY YOU NO SELL FRIES!

Saw that bottle up there? I find it really cool and i'm very fond of it! We bought some apple drinks at a mama shop and it was in the glass bottle form. I bought it home, washed it clean and torn off the label of the bottle. Gonna bring it to sch nxt week! Prolly having ice milo in it.... hehehe

~

Shall have some good rest during the wkends to replenish my lost of sleep for the past few days. Been having a big headache for my studies.. It is still not resort yet and i hope i will be able to get a definite solution for myself soon enough. I need to settle down, be organise and get ready with whatever that i need to fast, soon enough.

I'm learning,
I'm hoping.

2012-01-10T21:52:00.000+08:00

Sunday 8th Jan.
Woke up early in the morning to get my busary award somewhere outside Khatib. Ate Mc breakfast with ayl and went back to look for my parents.

Yesterday, Monday 9th Jan.
Sch starts agn. Was really tired when i woke up this morning, didnt had enough slp last night.

It's the release of the O lvl results today and i was really worried for my MT results. During recess, i called my teacher to ask her about and really glad i could still stay in my HMT class with a score of A2. It may seems good enough but many got A1s, maybe i didnt that well.. Oh well, it's over and a burden is off my chest! :')

Talent ID after sch today. And i went up to hall to collect my results. Such a first-time experience to witness the releasing of the O lvl results.

Today, Tuesday 10th Jan.
I'm struggling, did anyone even see it? Sometimes i just felt like i've lost the motivation to keep myself going. Sometimes i really someone.. I dont know if it's all worth it or i will still carry on making mistakes. The effort im making, can someone please regconise it?

So stress with studies.

Bottled feelings.
I need your touch.

2012-01-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

Thursday 5th Jan.
Sch started late and thank god i was able to have en extra hour of slp! Went to get tako after sch and headed home! Weee TAKO MAKES ME HAPPY.

Yesterday, Friday 6th Jan.
FINALLY IT'S FRIDAY! First four periods was maths and can you imagine that! Double Emaths and double Amaths. Emaths was fun and interesting! I didnt quite like Mr Yong at first, before he taught us, but we had fun during the lesson and i was able to concentrate. Sadly, he has HIGH expectations, and i mean HIGH! Hope i wont feel stress............

Next lesson was PE and we took our height and weight - 161cm and 45kg. AND OMG! We ran 2.4! Okay, it was just two rounds and not the usual three but i did felt like i improved. Tried not to walk much and run like how i always run with baby. hehe. Recess and i went to help out at the bookshop agn. Last two periods was double physics and had loads of fun with Matin as usual! Was getting sleepy though. Oh and our Physics class are now combined with the E3 ppl which is a lil weird....... Miss times when there were only the 11 of us.

Lessons ends at 1225 evy friday now, weeee! After sch, went to look for cheryl and we went down to look for hafiq and the rest. CCA open house today and we havent got our stuffs ready yet! Was rushing our banners in E3. Went to our booth at the junior block classroom, prepared for a while and we sat there waiting for the Sec Ones. Was really bored and bored and bored and bored.. Walked around the sch and fooled around! Haha!

Around 3, went up to the hall to watch the performing arts CCAs' performance. LOVE BAND'S! They played so well and i was enjoying it! Around 4, the Sec Ones finally came down but i need to leave. Really could't bear to miss the fun.. :(

Oh well, left and went off to meet bi! Caught a Singapore flim in Northpoint GV. Wasnt that nice but it was still somewhat hilarious, not bad! Walked home with bi today agn. Wanted to buy fries from the coffee shop opposite Safra but they have none left! SAD TTM., it happened twice. Anw, bought onion rings instead! :')

Today, Saturday 7th Jan.
Woke up 10am in the morning. Went down to get coloured pens. Went up to do my homework and spent 3hours doing the mindmaps for lit! It was really time constraining T.T
Could not do my amaths homework though. Was staring at it... And my caculator got no batt! Basically, i'm just giving myself excuses. HAHA

Baked cupcakes just now! Was alone at home for about 5hours. Love it when im all alone. I can do ANYTHING I WANT! Hehe

~

Pictures we took last year. :')

We will make this work.
Be happy baby, please.

2012-01-04T21:53:00.000+08:00

Monday, 2nd Jan.

Wanted to wake up around 10 in the morning to kind of have a 'practice' for waking up early for sch, and i failed! Woke in the afternoon instead.

Headed to Amk with parents in the late afternoon. Bought a pair of RED shoes at rubi! Weeeeee. Was really happy that it's RED. And i bought a white skirt too. Had dinner at Pizza Hut and i ate baked rice. :')

Yesterday, Tuesday, 3rd Jan.
WHY OH MY, IT'S SCH.

So i slept around 11pm the night before and i really thank god i was able to fall alseep soundly. I woke up feeling really great! No lack-of-slp-after-the-holidays. First day of sch was as relaxing as it can be. Loads of stuff were changed though, for instance sch ends at 0320pm and that sucks big time. I mean why do we have to extend an hour.......

After sch, had lunch at KFC with two crazy girls! Had fun talking about loads of stuff. And i ate Tako! So happy :')

Today, Wednesday, 4th Jan.
Second day of sch and my screwed body clock came back. Bloody freaking hell, i slept at 1am plus last night. Was damn tired when i woke up this morning.

Got to know a lot of out subject teachers today. Really dislike some and some just made me speechless.. I dont understand how can a person 'shh' on a average of 3times per min, IT'S BLOODY FREAKING ANNOYING. And i really cant stand it if someone asks something for a lot of times, even though i do that too, but seriously, SPEECHLESS. HAHA. She's cute.

I SURVIVED DAY TWO. This post seems to be getting wordy so BYE FOLKS! Wish me luck for the O lvl results in 4days time!

Hey baby.
Please be happy.

2012-01-02T01:45:00.000+08:00

Friday, 30 December.
Weee! No work! Had a nice day at home resting. Oh well, felt bored and i decided to bake cupcakes agn! Baked quite a lot for my family and glad they enjoy eating it! So i spent my entire evening doing something really meaningful. HEHE

Yesterday, Saturday, 31 December - NEW YEAR'S EVE.

I HAD A REALLY NICE NEW YEAR EVE + START OF 2012! Met up with baby around 2 and we went to Nex to get his Iphone cover. Had pepper lunch for lunch! Headed to Orchard to meet his frens and watch them have their lunch at Cineleisure. We decided to catch a movie after that. Some of them played pool before the movie starts while a few of us sat there watching them.

Around 7, we entered the theatre to watch Sherlock Holmes. It was a hilarious movie but i didnt quite get the plot! Was kinda confused with settings! Oh well, it ended around 9 and i was struggling to go home or tag along with the guys. The guys were discussing about a venue to have our countdown and eventually, we went to Marina bay, i tagged along....

Walked quite a distance around there while tryna find a nice spot. Was squeezing thru the crowd and worst of all worst, THERE WERE LOADS OF BANGALAS. Not tryna be racist but i'm sure you get what i'm saying! It was quite thrilling though, the pushing and squeezing made me felt like i'm going on a riot!

Finally we found a nice spot on some Express Way if i'm not wrong. We were just sitting on some road with a thousand others. Last 15mins left and i was really excited! Finally, the fireworks appeared out of the blue! I was expecting some '10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...' counts from the crowd but THERE WERE NONE! The fireworks totally caught my eyes and i swear i felt like i was just underneath them. They felt really really close, really sexy, even more sexy than baby! I didnt even wanna take snapshots of them but just admire them, lock them with my eyes to place them right into my mind.

My mood was spoiled soon after. I received a call from mummy and i got a really bad scolding from her. I know i couldnt stay but i decided to take the risk. They say, 'When love is not madness, it is not love." It was madness to be still outside with my frens when it's alrdy 12am. I was worried about the reprimands from mummy. However, i felt really happy last night. It's worth it to take the risk for him. I know after tonight, i wont get to see him as much as the past two months. The chances of meeting him even just for a simple meal would get slimmer then before. Studies would be taking my time and i can imagine the amt of lessons filling up my afternoons. I can imagine our schedule being miles apart. I didnt regret it all. :')

All of us trained home after the tiring day. A really amazing night i had, a beautiful begining of 2012.

Today, Sunday, 1st January - HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HAPPY 2012 EVYONE! How is ur first day of a brand new year like? It's kinda boring for me. I think the eve was so much better, just like Christmas eve.

Sch is starting on tuesday and it sucks. I really dont wish to get myself burired in those books all over agn. I believe evyone dread sch as much as me. However, it's the stress that is killing me, are you being tortured by the stress too?

~

My special boy, i just wish to help you if you have any sorrows. I dont know how to handle this mess because it just feels like i failed my duty as your girlfriend whenever you sound, look, feel unhappy.

Take my hand.
We'll fight this together.

2011-12-30T00:39:00.003+08:00

Tuesday, 27 December.

CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION WITH SISTERS! It was a nice afternoon and they came over to my place. We exchanged our presents and i'm so happy to get mine from Shermin! It's really something i need and not something which i have to keep for a long long long long time without being able to use it. It kinda happens quite often..

Oh well. We bought a log cake too! The girls had so much with Jingyuan and he kinda like the crowd. Around 6, we went to northpoint. Bought some food and slacked outside Golden Village.

Great day!

Yestersday, Wednesday, 28 December.
Woke up early for work! And can you believe it, i slept at 4am. I tossed and turned on my bed, tried my best to fall asleep but it just cant seems to work. Was god damn tired when i woke up for work.

Loads of customers today! Didnt had time to slow down our speed at all.

Met bi after work and we went to Nex to get his stuff. Shopped around for a while. I bought bi to have dinner with aunty lucy and the others. HAHA. Ate pepper lunch at amk and had fun joking around.

THANK GOD I WAS ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP.

Today, Thursday, 29 December.
LAST DAY OF WORK. Hoho, sounded sad but quite happy that i dont have to wake up early tmr.

Caught a movie with baby and had dinner with his frens.

OK THE END. IM TOO EXHAUSTED TO CONT MY POST. Finally i can have some good rest tmr and for the weekends. Bother, such a bother - school. Just gonna keep on partying till i meet doom. GOODBYE SEXY ASSES, xoxo

Have you thought about it?
It lies in the quantity.

2011-12-27T12:28:00.009+08:00

Saturday, 24 Decmeber - Christmas Eve!

Exchanged Christmas gift with baby! Hope you like the JB disc and the cookies! Thank you so much for this beautiful dress, xoxo

An awesome Christmas Eve i had! Met up with Bi and his frens at Yishun Mrt Station. We trained to Habour Front and had our lunch at Vivo. It started to rain a lil which ruined the atmosphere. We still decided to head there. Bought a mat, some food & other stuff from Diaso and we walked to Sentosa beach!

It was a really nice day at the beach! The rain didnt stop us from having all the fun! The guys attmepted to throw each other into the sea, and they buried each other under the sand. Oh! And i bought a volley ball there but we didnt really played with it. A wonderful day i spent at the beach with baby. :')

Around evening, we went to wash up and it's time to bid farewell to Sentosa. Headed back to Vivo and we had our dinner at a hawker centre opposite Vivo City. Felt really tired and sleepy on the way home. Bi sent me home and it was raining heavily!

The best Christmas Eve i had in my memory. I love today!

Enjoy the pictures taken! Only posting some! hehe

Yesterday, 25 December - MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Didnt expect my Christmas to be rather upsetting. Oh well, i stayed at home for the entire day. Anw, check out the first gift i got for Christmas! My brother gave it to me last friday night - a Doraemon watch and toy. Weeeeee!

Cant wait to receive those babes' gifts!!

Today, Monday 26 December.I cant believe it but it's another boring day at home! Anw, guess what am i doing now? BAKING CUPCAKES! It's a first attempt and i hope it's going to work. Gonna prepare some toast bread with hotdogs for supper for my family too. :')

Ending off, i really cant believe sch is starting so soon and 2011 is coming to end so quickly. As much i dread, i really dont wish to return to sch and face all the stressful stuff all over agn. As much as i wanna avoid, i dont wish to include any unhappy stuff over here. As much as i pray, i just want us to be happy.

Try again.First dance.

2011-12-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, December 21 .
Woke up really early for work and guess wad? We actually worked for 12 hours! From 9am all the way to 9pm. It wasnt as tiring though. We spent most of time waiting for the books to arrive so that we can carry on with the packing of the Sec One books. We even played volleyball! And my wrist went really red with blood clots! Looks really ugly but oh well, it was fun!

Damn tired when i got home!

Yesterday, Thursday, December 22.
Finally, it was the big day! Woke up really early and rched sch at seven. Sec One orientation went rather smooth today. Really glad that it was over! All the others left early and we continue packing up. Uncle bought Nasi Lemak for us for lunch! After i finished my food, i left to look for bi. We went to SSC and i was really excited to get my cookie ingredients in Giant! We got a trolley but ended up, i only bought a flour and some butter. So as i was paying for my butter and flour, i suddenly hesitated, 'What if my butter melt? I'm not going home yet..' So i asked for a refund for the butter. I tot i was so smart to realise that. But hey, i live in Khatib and why did i went all the way to Sembawang to get my ingredients?

Argh! Was really dumb. I had to carry the 1kg flour all around! Oh well, we went to Tampiness Ikea after that. Walked around and bought Hotdog bun! Really nice day! :)

Shall upload the photos i took with dear soon!

After i got home, i went down to Sheng Siong to get the remaining ingredients. And so, my baking journey began...

I decided to try it out first before preparing it as part of my Christmas gift for baby. So the first attempt wasnt as good as i expected. The cookies were burnt and tasteless! My parents helped me a lot and it starts to get better! Threw all the burnt cookies away and borrowed my brothers' tongue as well! Noted down everyone's comments!

Today, Friday December 23.
Start work at 10am today and ended off early. Told aunty i wish to have a flexible time. Really lazy to carry on working. Did a pretty naughty thing today! The new vending machines were ready and they kind of carry a really lousy design. Put my hand into the hole where the drinks are suppose to drop out and i took out 8 bottle of drinks. HEHEHEHE

Check this out!

Today, i prepared the mixture ALL BY MYSELF. Mummy and papa just helped me shape it out and place the cookies into the oven. Papa was really protective of the oven.. HAHA!

Had a lot fun making the cookies for the past two days! Have packed the cookies in a container and got my gifts for baby ready. Cant wait for tmr! Going to Sentosa with bi and his frens. Not really a good idea as it's the monsoon season.. Hmm..

Please stay this way.
Dont go.

2011-12-20T23:43:00.008+08:00

Saturday, 17 Dec.
Stayed at home the whole day like a geek on the comp!

Sunday, 18 Dec.
Around the late afternoon, went out to town with parents. Bought a couple of stuff from bugis street! A top, a belt and a tube. Splendid shopping if i was able to purchase more stuff.

Didnt ended off the day well.

Yesterday, Monday 19 Dec.
Although these pictures are not in a good condition, they work as a memory for me.

Went out with him today. Had our lunch at Chinatown, the usual place. Headed to Harbour Front and shopped around vivo for quite a few hours. A tiring day.

Today, Tuesday, 20 Dec.
Work is not as tiring as usual. No sales today but just preparation for the Sec One Orientation on Thursday. Worked till 5plus and was deadbeat when i got home.

Hope the following days can get better. Havent got my Christmas gifts ready and im running out of time. Got a really tight schedule and i really need to work things out soon.

~
Dear send me home and i really wish i could hug you forever. Wasnt happy ytd. The kind of feeling i got was totally overwhelming. It pierce thru my heart agn and agn. Yet sometimes, i really dont know whats right and whats wrong. I know i should stop it, but it's that never satisfying urge in me that made me more eager to prove myself. To keep pointing out faults, even the slightest, all these acts eventually leads to one main aim, just to get you to treat me better. I'm sorry.

Sometimes, i dont even know what i want. I guess i'm just like most of you out there, asking for more.
I dont really look at ur mistakes solemnly. But i dont really wish to acknowledge them to you. I dont wanna let you feel that it's enough, i want more from you, a lot more. I must have been too ambitious. Saying it here perhaps makes me feel better and hope you understand, i do appreciate you.

I really thank god for having you as part of my life. One thing i really like about you, which are totally different from other guys is that you dont curse and swear, you behave really like a civilised man in terms of ur attitude. I really like that. A guy in formal clothing, walking and speaking in a really mesmerising tone, you totally fit this role. Not any tom dick or harry, but a guy whom i really can be proud of with the character he carry.

I guess sorry would never be enough or it aint really making things work. Just wanna let you know, i do appreciate you. Whether it's ur fault or it isnt, dont feel that you giving in and not receiving. Well, i feel that way all the time. I guess some assurance can do it, can it?

Right now, dont get angry about the internet problems anymore baby, good times or bad times, it will soon be okay. Cheer up!

These words are really from the bottom of my heart. Spent a lot time tryna get this words nicely lay just for my special boy.

It's okay.
Let it faint.

2011-12-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

Lets start blogging from where i stopped. And i really ran out of pictures lately.....

Monday, 12 Dec.
From what i rmb, i stayed at home the whole day. and basically my life just rotates around the comp and my phone. perhaps my bed.

Tuesday, 13 Dec.
Woke up really early today. Bi called me after his exams ended and i got up to prepare myself. met him at Chongpang and had our lunch at the hawker. Met up just for a lil while and he had to get back home to study.

Dear send me home and i went out during the evening agn. headed to Northpoint to meet up with the rest and we took bus to sch. I would like to say the dance concert was great! but i kinda prefer the last yr one more. maybe because we left too early. and i didnt felt right the whole day.

Oh well. slacked under the void deck with Nazri, Fouzy and Huixin till around 11. and i had to cab home! Reached home feeling really tired.

Wednesday, 14 Dec.
HAPPY 13th MONTHSARY DEAR. (L)

Work was really tiring today! and things didnt went smooth for me.

Yesterday, Thursday 15 Dec.
Had a really long call with baby in the morning, till around 2am. maybe it wasnt long, but thanks for willing to listen to my crap for that long. i was just ranting and making no sense i guess. sorry my dear, and i know you're sorry too! hehe

Well, whatever it is. i just hope things can stay the way they are right now. even after all the fights, our love will get stronger!

And work is tiring as usual. tried to catch a early nap.

Today, Friday 16 Dec.
Work made me really frustrated and upset today. we didnt stop working from 9am all the way till 3pm. i almost fainted. skipped lunch too, didnt have the mood to eat.

Meet bi at yishun and we went to ping's hse. stayed for a lil while and we decided to go weiliang's hse. felt really hungry and i bought a cup noodle at Shop & Save before heading der. so the guys were kinda having some runescape session over der. oh, and we called pizza hut delivery for dinner!

Left around 9 and bi sent me home. :')

It's a really tiring day today, I WANNA SLEEP NOW.

Dont let the walls break.
Dont speak a word about it.

2011-12-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

I LOVE YOU BABY JOSJ! :')

Friday, 9 December.
WOKE UP EARLY FOR WORK AGAIN! My god, those three days of work have drained my energy lvl down down down. Today was the busiest day ever! Ytd was kinda tiring and today it was even worst! Started working even mins before 9 and couldnt even stop our hands and mouth. I just kept on repeating the same stuff over and over agn.

Around 10plus, bi came over and deliver mac breakfast for me! AWWWW. Love you loads! I was so busy that i cant even entertain you. I am so sorry dear. :(

Around one plus, finally i can enjoy my breakast! Okay, it's lunch. Oh well, so evyone was disturbing me about it. HAHA. Enjoyed my meal and i was still working while eating! Imagine the crowd. My legs were damn painful, i mean my feets and toes. Really need some rest.

Before work ended, we played a prank on JianXing and childish aunty made me laugh so muchhh. I felt the pain in my tummy almost exploding!

Ended work and went to meet bi. Spent our time walking around Northpoint and Yishun area. Went home even before 6! Was deadbeat when i got home, took a short nap.

Yesterday, Saturday 10th December.
Finally i had my lazy nap back! Rested at home for the day.

Today, Sunday 11th December.
Another day at home. MY WEEKENDS ARE SERIOUSLY LIKKA BORED-AT-HOME.

Holidays seems to be coming to end in a few weeks time. I dont wanna go back to sch and face studies this creepy thing all over agn. Big sigh!

Light your hopes,
We will make it.

2011-12-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

OKAY. I'M LAZY TO BLOG ABOUT THE PAST FEW DAYS. BUT I HAD FUN YTD WITH HX AND SH @ MY HSE!

Today, 8 December.
Woke up early for work. suchaaa buussy day today i swear! loads of ppl came to get their books today and i cant even rest. oh my god!

After work, walked around northpoint while waiting for bi. i bought a shirt for feizhuzhu! the shirt above, with collar, looking likka formal only. SO CUTE ISNT HE. he love it and he kinda like me more now. heheheh

So i was really bored while waiting for bi. AND I ACTUALLY Q-ED FOR THE FREE STARBUCKS. i was hesistating but oh well, i did. bi came along and joined me. so we both enjoyed free coffee! and we walked to my hse. :')

Tmr is gonna be another busy day, shall res early tonight. pardon me for the way i type, not in blogging mood!

I should get rid of my fear,
or get the faith going?

2011-12-05T17:38:00.000+08:00

Saturday, 3rd December.
A day at home.

Yesterday, Sunday, 4th December.
Another day at home.

Today, 5th December.
Well, another day at home! Well, it's a special day today though. one year ago, right on today, 5th December, was the first date i had with baby. hehe

Nothing much to post, since i'm stucked at home. I'm kinda addicted to a game..

December seems to be a lil boring as compared to nov. oh well, sch is gonna start soon!

Scream those words,
with love.

2011-12-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Wednesday, 30 November.
Bored at home.

Thursday, 1st December.

ALTHOUGH I DIDNT WRITE IT, I STICK IT MYSELF.

A brand new start of a brand new month. start off my day by waking up early and head off to sch for work. great news! i could fall asleep last night after all the struggles. i mean, fall asleep EARLY, work was fun today! head off straight to home after work.
Around 9, came out to jog with bibi agn. met him somewhere near yishun swimming complex agn. jog to northpoint and we bought starbucks! Well, initially, i was interested with the one for one promotion but i wasnt interested in those selected flavours. oh well, got java chips instead. ended up, it was a really short jog, we walked back home. HAHA

I felt quite proud of myself though. i used to give up quite easily just after i ran a short distance but right now, i'm tryna improve slowly. a met up lesser than an hour but i felt really happy to see you dear. i felt really happy that we had found another way to meet each other, other than waiting for fridays when you have ur early dismissal. :')

Couldnt sleep tonight though.

Today, Friday, 2nd December.
Woke up at 0750am. prepared myself for work and went out. walked to khatib Mac and i bought breakfast for myself and mad. headed to sch and we enjoyed our delicious breakfast! work was fun today too, had loads of fun cracking LAME jokes! HEHE

After work, met dear and we went to amk. shopped around and headed to SSC. waited for his frens @ SSC for quite a while before we had our dinner,SUBWAY. WEEEE! felt really full after the dinner. bi send me home and i miss you so muchhhh.

Had a fun week despite some upsetting moments. it's finally december, the last month of the year. the month where we start to enjoy the Christmas decorations all around, the month where we celebrate the lovely festival Christmas, the month where we whine about returning to sch, the month where we panic for our homework, the month where we bid farewell to a whole year of memories, the month where we anticipate the start of the brand new year.

Have a happy December everyone! Let's mark a good end to our 2011, the year that left us so quickly.

Are you there?
It seems to be getting better.

2011-11-30T00:26:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Monday, 28 Nov.

Woke up around 10am and i fell asleep again. tried my best to force myself out of bed, didnt want to face the stress of being unable to fall asleep when it's bed time.

Around 5, met dear dear at Northpoint. bought cup of Javachips while waiting for him. weeeeee! been craving for it. Returned home around 7. It was a met-up less than 2hours but feel really happy to be able to see him.

Today, Tuesday, 29 Nov.

He.. SAT on my Dangdang casually...........

The little boy up there have been rather close to me for the past few days. he is staying over at my place for two weeks and basically i just love irritating him. hehe

Oh well, I WENT FOR A JOG JUST NOW, with dear. i know it's rather unbelievable. well, i just hope the run can allow me to be able to have a good sleep tonight. i slept at 3am this morning and it just sucks. you have no idea how terrible i felt. i was feeling very exhausted, my eyes hardly wish to open, but i just cant fall asleep.

I guess what motivated me for the run was because of bi as well. it was suppose to be a 30mins thing, but with me along, i kinda added another 20mins to the entire run. i've always been a bad runner and i dont really enjoy running. it was a GREAT improvement for me to even suggest it. HAHA. had fun with bi though, like how he tried to keep me going, even though i'm those who will just give up on the spot regardless of the distance or time when it comes to running. thanks baby for encouraging me!

Ended the jog about 10, bi send me home and i gave him a hug before he left! :')

Hopefully tonight i can have my beauty sleep back, even though it's 12am already. Not going to class outing tmr, someone coming over my place at 7.

Let's keep on moving,
With you by my side.

2011-11-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

Blue lights! :')

Yesterday, Saturday, 26 Nov.
Had a really nice with my family and Jingyuan. it was awesome to see the streets of orchard and somerset to be filled with such beautiful lightings, whatsmore, they're blue. hehe

Walked around orchard, dinner at 313's Marche agn. oh yeah, and i saw baby and frens. HAHA

Today, Sunday, 27 Nov.
Sad eh.

I'm just afraid it would happen again.
I cant do anything about it.

2011-11-26T00:29:00.000+08:00

Wednesday, 23 Nov.
Woke up early for work agn. was damn tired and i really wish i could sleep just a while longer. walked to the sheng siong around my place to get instant noodles for aunty. and i bought a youtiao for breakfast.

Work was quite tiring today. loads of heavy boxes to unload. after work, slacked at northpoint for a lil while and walked home. heh

Yesterday, Thursday, 24 Nov.
HI ALL! slept for only 5hours and headed off to work. not as tiring as i expected. :)

After work, shopped around northpoint with Madeleine for an hour and headed home.

Korkor came back from Australia. he bought loads of chocolates! weeeeee. he didnt really got me a gift though, got a kangaroo soft toy from him. called for KFC delivery and had it for dinner. bibi came to look for me ltr dat night. :)

Today, Friday, 25 Nov.
I COULD FALL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT. hehe. well, same old thing, woke up at 8 for work. meet jiayi outside sch and we went in tgt. today's work was exceptionally fun along with jiayi and kahlong! the four of us were snatching for the tom yam instant noodles for our lunch. enjoy work so much today. hehe

After work, shopped around at northpoint with Madeleine again. bought nail polish! we were so tempted by it and couldnt help but to buy a couple of it. haha

Went to Tampiness Ikea with bibi after that. ate hotdog bun! had dinner at ikea as well, i had a nice evening. travalled to Sembawang to meet bi's frens. watch 'em play basketball for a little while and headed home about 10. it's a nice friday for me today!

Just a lil upset that when i got home, yuanyuan was asleep alrdy. didnt talk to him much today. awww :(

~

I'm happy today. i hope evything is gonna go well and i can stop thinking things.. i know it's tough, but i just need some help, along with my own strength.

I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen,
Yet i got no guts to reach out for it.

2011-11-22T23:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, Monday, 21 Nov.

More pictures @ facebook.com !

GOOD MORNING. woke up at 0915. prepared myself, placed an extra shirt, deodorant, some food and games into my bag for the chalet. sounded so much like i'm staying overnight but well, i'm not. AWWW. k

Met up with hafiq, mahadir, cheryl and jinghan at SSC to get the groceries. mahadir went home to get his water dispenser and ended up, there were the four of us to carry the stuff! so, we carry plastic bags of food to board the bus to bedok. and from bedok we headed to the food factory to collect the stuff. cabbed to the the chalet venue itself. to save money, we actually walked quite a distance with the boxes of food for BBQ to the very top of a hill or whatever you call to the chalet. man, it was so damn tiring.

Despite all the sweat and tire, the four of us had loads of fun! all the pre-chalet-fun we have enjoyed were the best memories of the day! HEHE :)

So i kind of stood for hours trying to help to prepare the food and bbq the food, along with some others. it was quite tiring but it was very very fun. thumbs up for the entire chalet we have organised, other than it's location and inconvenient transport.

Okay, time for complains. i hate ppl who actually see themselves as putting in a lot effort when WE, woke up 9 in the morning and bring all the stuff there for YOU guys. you're just tryna get some attention in front the juniors? you're not born to be a leader, i mean hey, you're not even involve in the helping, dont speak as if you are one. damn angry about this, same sentiments from cheryl too. Zzz

Wasted one whole chunk on you. nvm. carry on my day. i left about 10plus. Mr Yao drove me to Pasir Ris and i took train home ALONE. kinda creepy and i just have no sense of direction whenever i'm alone, or maybe, most of the time. almost boarded the wrong train. rched home about 12am. legs got so sore and my muscles are aching right now.

Today, Tuesday, 22 Nov.
HI ALL. despite of my tiredness, i still slept at 2am last night. i couldnt fall asleep again. woke up around 12 in the afternoon today. caught the last two episodes of my drama. aww, it was so sad. i teared.

Did some of my work and i fell asleep for a short while on my bed. forced myself up. kinda dun like the idea of having afternoon naps nowadays. makes me more energetic when it's time to sleep. oh well, feeling terribly hungry now. i need food!

I dont know how.
Searching.

2011-11-20T14:15:00.001+08:00

Friday, 18 Nov.
Headed out to discuss on the stuff for the chalet. Met up with cheryl, jinghan, tricia and hafiq at Yishun Mrt station. had a hard time deciding on the buying of food. we decided to make our way to Changi Aloha itself to explore the chalet venue. i swear it was god damn far. and the cool thing is, we saw Old Changi Hospital. hehe, sounds creepy!

Around 4plus, i had to leave. so i cabbed with tricia to tampiness and took train from there to orchard to meet bi. accompanied him for his dental appointment (sorry) and we went to meet his friends. had steamboat for dinner together at bugis. and we stayed there for about 3hours! it was very fun and i was very happy being with him. :)

Yesterday, Saturday, 19 Nov.

Mac breakfast! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ had mac breakfast early in the morning at Khatib mac with mummy and yuanyuan. i wanted to try the pancakes quite badly but still ordered big breakfast in the end. had a filling breakfast and i skipped lunch.

Dinner was not so nice.. hmm.

Baby oh baby. i didnt know a misunderstanding can let us fought so badly. i guess it's my fault for not handling this situation well enough. but please tell me everything next time, okay? we could have escape from all this tears and pain baby. the words you said were really harsh and painful, i know you were angry that's why you said those nasty things. it pierced thru my heart deeply baby. i hope everything were just words of anger, now you know it wasnt the way you think, can you change ur opinion of me? :(

But i'm sorry to be rude to you too. i thought the problems lies in the different thinkings we carry, but it was my attitude to you. forgive me for that. I just felt that if there were only the two of us, we shouldnt kind of get busy with our own stuff unless necessary. i hope you can understand my point of view. whatsmore, i've always wanted you to speak up, talk to me, and not just keep quiet. i guess, we're both at fault.

All i want is for us to be like last friday night, i really enjoyed myself.

I hope the following days will get better. having the chalet tmr and i feel really excited about it! shall try to take loads of pictures for memories. i hope we can stop fighting, stop having so much pain. i dont want to screw things up anymore, i dont want to face the mess of this relationship again.

One more dance.

Tonight.

2011-11-17T22:03:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Wednesday, 16 Nov.
Woke up at 10. mummy bought for me mac breakfast! weeee. i was still wishing for Santa to deliver it to me. oh well, ate it and headed to sch for the shooting chalet meeting. k, i was late. opps.

So we were discussing the chalet stuff for quite a while, deciding the transport, games and i planned out the timeline! hehe. ended up, me tricia jinghan and hafiq were playing some stupid game dat was DAMN FUNNY, HAHA.

Tricia was hungry so we went to Chongpang's KFC for lunch. ate cheesy meltzzzzzz. and we actually played plants VS zombies on tricia's ipad for almost 2hours in KFC. HAHA! i swear we completely forgot about time and just wanted to complete that damn mission. left around 3plus. :)

Cant wait for the chalet on Monday! but i'm actually deciding if i should stay. i know mummy and papa wont be happy about it but... hmmmm.

Today, Thursday, 17 Nov.
Almost couldnt get up this morning. didnt ahve ample amount of sleep again. rushed myself and headed to work. it was rather slack today i would say. :)

~

I know they're very blue. so in love with blue lights recently and i dunno why. THEY'RE GORGEOUSLY BEAUTIFUL. i want my house to be filled with blue lights when the sky turns dark, i want my christmas to be a blue christmas, i want my photos to be blue. BOOOOLUUUU~

Anw, i was tryna say, i've been eating a lot chocolates since ytd. and i think im so so so addicted to them. it's like i pick ten of it and started eating while watching show. mummy bought 4boxes of those! whewwww

Last night was kinda sad. bibi, this is so first time man. i guess i just break down too easily. i just hope you can take note of what i have said, those were the things i've been waiting to tell you, with my voice, with my emotions revealed. i'll still say sorry, cause i cant make things entirely ur fault.

Listen to my love.
My love.

2011-11-15T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today, Monday, 14 Nov ; HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY.
So when the clock striked 12am, i was super duper urber happy that bi txted me HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. i swear my hands went up up up, like 'YAY!' and thank god i was in the toilet. hehehe. the happiest thing isnt because today was a special day for us, but he remember it! weeeeee

K. so i was happy, but i cant slp agn last night.

Woke up around 1pm today. soon after, started to prepare to meet bi. spent an hour deciding what to wear and to prepare myself. it was raining heavily and i ran in the rain and walked as fast as i could hoping i wont be late. ended up, i was still early. headed to amk, immediately caught a movie and i ate my dinner at a coffee shop. he was watching me havingmy dinner cause his dinner was prepared. he sent me home. the end.

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABY. i sound sad, i mean, hey, im sad. it's our one year anniversary and i really expected a lot more. i mean.. isnt today suppose to be special? i dun really enjoy watching cartoons. i didnt expect dinner to be like this. i didnt expect our day to be like this.

One year anniversary, nothing special. much more of a disappointment. i tot you would prepare something for me too. haha. i thought. k bye

^ typed the above post ytd. saved it as draft cause i find it quite hurtful and irritating. but right now, i kind of feel a lot better from the sadness ytd. i was happy ytd. i had fun disturbing you. hehehe. BUT I STILL SAD K, cause we can never have it back to make it special. oh well, sorry for whatever hurtful things i said. i know i very irriating. :(

Today, Tuesday, Nov 15.
Hello, is it me you're looking for? well, woke up as early as 8 today. got ready and headed to sch. was running late and i saw dear Puteri! she looks happy to me. oh well, be strong! envious of her, she told me she's going USS this thursday. awww

Anw, went down range. stayed till 1130 plus and Mr Yao allowed me to leave. me Hafiq and Cheryl played badminton with the juniors. so on and on... nice day! hehe

~

Time to rant? i have loads to say in mind. how a perfect boyfriend should be. how i wish my boyfriend would be like. but i'm at the loss of words right now. i dunno if this is going to be hurtful if i go on..

I want him to give me surprises. i dont care if it's a gift, a word of concern or even a sudden appearance. i just want to know, i'm worth his attention. he is willing to do things for me. just like how i'm willing to spent my time to think about what surprises should i give him. even if it's just some cards or letters, it shows my time and effort.

I want him to pick me and send me to places. even if it's just as simple as going home, it looks really sweet to have him to accompany me just because he wish to spent more time with me. regardless of the curfew he have to face, i wish to see to know he is unwillingly to leave, he cant bear to leave.

I want him to know what to say to me whenever i'm upset. it hurts if he changes the topic or be so straightforward to me, ' i've got nothing to say.' even if he have nothing to say to me, i hope he can at least give me some respond, just a little will do. isnt is so much better than saying you have nothing to say, to ur girl?

I want him to be jealous. i want him to be afraid of losing me just like how i get so paranoid of losing him.

I want him to do things without me having to tell him what to do. it defeats the entire purpose. i know whatever i say now sounds very demanding and i mean hey, i sound like im expecting some perfect guy for me right here. i'm just saying out my thoughts and feelings. i believe all of you have that ideal image of your lover. like having a understanding girlfriend which i never can fulfil. i know my weaknesses.

Saying this hoping i wont be judged. similar to watching a drama, hoping that male led in the show can be your guy because he is perfect. but his role was drafted out. he is fake. i know there is no such thing as a perfect person. i do! SO DONT FUCKING TELL ME I EXPECT A LOT THINGS K. :(

So sad. i'm just saying out my opinions but i can hear voices in my head saying how picky,over thinking, over expecting and whatever shit of me. but dudes! saying this wont change anything. i know. cause i tried saying things to my dear dear often. but he's still the same. but dats why i love him isnt it.. hmm. well. he is stupid. STUPID!! hehehe

I'm making no sense. i'm not naggy. i'm not picky. :(

Kbye.

Trying very hard.
For me.

2011-11-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

20 October! hehe

Friday, 11 Nov.
Skipped last bridging programme's lesson, physics. was having a tough battle between going for it or just dont give a damn. slept quite late so i guess, let's just carry on sleeping. hehehe

Late afternoon, travelled to dhoby ghaut to meet bi. watched a movie - Tower Heist. it was awesome! hilarious and so cool. after the movie, i had pepper lunch for dinner. walked around, and went home around 8plus. :)

Yesterday, Saturday, 12 Nov.
Woke up at 7am to prepare for work. meet ayl under my block. wanted to buy mac for breakfast but it was kinda expensive, didnt want to spent money even before getting the pay! waiting for a very long time for the 965. saw pl and shermin on the bus, haha! here and der, we finally rched woodlands ring primary sch. it was pretty small.

Work wasnt tough at all today. only worked for about 2hours and got a sixteen dollars pay. all of us was expecting it to be eight to ten. pretty shocking to be twice of wad i expected. heh

Some of us headed to causeway for lunch. didnt had much mood or appetite. hmm. so i called mummy and asked if we're still heading to anywhere, since it's kind of a family day today. told her i wish to have chilli crabs for dinner. so, had chili crabs for dinner! weeeee

Today, Sunday, 13 Nov.
STOMACH CRAMPS GO TO HELL!! so painful for a few hours and i almost died. i cant even walk or change. :(

Take away my fear.
Escape.

2011-11-10T21:42:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, 8 Nov.
Erm.

Yesterday, Wednesday, 9 Nov.
Erm.

Today, Thursday, 10 Nov.
Hello! Slept late last night and i swear i didnt felt like waking up when my clock rang at 0620am this morning. 'o lvls' flashed on my mind non stop and i got up reluctantly. bathed, changed, tied up my hair, had my glasses on and went to sch with a sleepy mind.

Was pretty nervous, not because of the paper, but the atmosphere outside the hall. FIRST TIME EVER TO TAKE O LVL LEH. all the other seniors were outside the hall and i guess dats wad we have to do too. the first paper was okay. not of a problem. had a really short break. second paper was management i would say. i didnt felt like it's the 'o lvls' after all. hehhehe

After sch, headed to northpoint with huixin and ayl. ate pizza hut for lunch. met up with the other girls, bought the present, cake and stuff. headed to mandy's hse and the surprise was such a success! feels great. had a fun time at her hse. weeeeeee~ pretty happy today.

OH! and we dumped mandy into the pool! happy birthday mandaaaaa, love you loads.

It's 11.11.11 tmr. been seeing many people saying about how much they anticipate tmr. i guess it's just another day. only having a one hour lesson tmr. still wondering if i should attend sch or skip it. hmmm

It's your own believe.

Strong and fierce.

2011-11-07T21:36:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday, 06 nov.
Woke up pretty late. early evening, headed to SSC with parents and xiaocaomei. k, i was actually complaining about bringing dat little kid along cause i was kinda pissed off with her for asking me so much qns.. sorry for shouting at you. i actually yelled and said, 'why are you so irritating?' :(

Anw, spent my night there. took loads of pictures, uploaded on facebook.

Today, Monday, 07 Nov.
Well, all of them are ME cause someone dont let me take his pictures. anw, didnt edit them cause i was too lazy. and most them are blurrrr, ur itouch lousyy. hehehe

Almost couldnt get up. met bibi at Khatib mrt station. headed to vivo city. decided on wad movie to watch and we had long john for lunch. and i cant finish my food agn, -.-! went back to the theaters to catch 23:59. i didnt expected it to be produced by Singapore! i had dat strong feeling dat it's either Korean or some other country but just not Singapore. was really shocked, esp when Mark Lee suddenly appear, LOL. it was a good film i would say. nice sound effects but the plot was too confusing. i couldnt understand.

After the movie, we walked to Sentosa Resorts World. chilled around, drank coffee bean's coffee. walked back to vivo and home sour home. hehehehe

Nice day today! it had been more than a week since we went out.

Hold the believe,
Pick YOURSELF up.

2011-11-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

Cookies for dearrrr

Yesterday, Friday, Nov 5.
I cried for a few hours. and loads of crap happened. i've forgotten vividly how i spent that 5hours, from 12am plus to 5.30am.

" Tired as hell. Slept for 2 hours. Truth is, was fuckin sleepy the whole night. But i spent it meaningfully, i guess. " - well, i just saw this and i guess i was kind of touched. i slept for 2hours too and i know you wont see this but thank you lorh.

Headed to sch early in the morning. i was the only one that arrived at 8.45 when we are suppose to be there at 8.30am, -.-! I walked around and around the school, wandering here and der. i didnt went to be left alone in the range with ms liauw cause i felt awkward. and it was so cold, plus, i needed reception. so i wandered round and ended up outside the range. saw dom and chatted with him. soon, houyi FINALLY came and he tot it was 9.30am... k nvm. so i called hafiq and he was like "OMG", hahahhaha.

So we were trying to contact the juniors and crapppp, evyone shut down their phones? arggghh. went down the range and was talking to ms liauw for a long long long long long time. spent the whole morning telling her how i stressed up i was, how negative my mindset is and how bad my results are. she kind of talked a lot sense into me.

Went up to class for Amaths lesson. was trying my best to do wad ms liauw told me. my mind still got drifted away eventually. oh well. after sch, went to Nex with peilin, sihui and xt. shopped around for a long long long long long time. my legs were dying in pain and my mind shut down a couple of times. was feeling damn sleepy and i felt like i had a really long day. anw, had fun looking for jobs but im feeling a bit reluctant to go for them.

Today, Saturday, 6th Nov.
I kind of dont remember today is Saturday.

I wish it's the baking-cookie day agn. i kind of felt the happiest dat day. right now, i dunno who am i. i duno wad the hell am i doing.

I wish some day, someone can impress me with surprises for me. i wish one day, someone can know exactly what i want. i wish some day, someone can treat me even better than himself. someone, my romeo.

Where have you been?
Last kiss.

2011-11-03T23:00:00.001+08:00

Today, Thursday, 3rd Nov.

Stupid xt !

MY PAU!!

OUR FINAL PRODUCT!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! i'm super duper happy today. went to sch for amaths lesson and got back my Chinese mock papers. i guess i did quite okay.

After school, went to northpoint to get the ingredients for the baking of the cookies. didnt shop for a long time at cold storage as i expected. and i went to redeem all the free mac stuff at mac. HEHE

Headed to ayl's hse after dat. ate our lunch and we got started with the baking. had so much fun making the cookies! it wasnt dat tough after all. all i need is a microwave oven at home.... k. so we made quite a lot. painted our nails and waited for the cookies to be ready. i made a letter J cookie for dearr. heh

Bi just came over to collect the cookies from me. rushly made him a card! hehehe. and thank you for the mr bean pancake. :)

In blues for almost the entire day. laughed at almost evything. and i tot about it, only way is for people to scold me. ummmmm

It's your choice,
It's your chance.

2011-11-02T22:10:00.002+08:00

To start off, there are many things in my life dat i feel upset for, just dat i tend to talk about this more because i want to resolve it. i dont wish to leave this mess hanging der..

Different people have different ways to handle things, we all have our own preference. i guess my biggest mistake, is expecting people to do things to way i want them to and to accommodate to me, whether is it my family or him. i often carry that expectation from you, because i feel that i would be able to do it, so can you. expectations led to disappointment when they eventually cannot be fulfilled, my disappointment led to my frankness.

I guess whatever i say now wont be of much use. am i seeking sympathy and pity? i'm just tryna make myself look so weak and helpless. after all, i'm just defending myself instead of admitting my mistake. cut the crap angeline, things you have said aint a big deal right now.

All i feel like is the really upsetting feeling where the one you love most totally lost confidence in you because you have disappointed him too many times till you dont even know wad went wrong. it's sad when those words of affection were no longer in place, it's sad when you no longer bothered, it's sad when we couldnt hang on anymore. i didnt know i am such an irritant, i didnt know things would turn out this way. yes, i hate myself for being this way. but wad upsets me the most is losing the affection we once carry because of my mistakes.

Dont ask me wads wrong guys. this is the first time i didnt really confide to anyone. i realise people get sick of hearing my endless, pointless, meaningless drama. they used the word 'again' when they question me, for instance, 'what happened again?' i dread dat a lot. feels like im disturbing and dat im having a lot problems, but yeah, it's a fact though. recently, i tend to keep things to myself, speaking things very generally rather than hoping someone would lend me a helping hand.

Or maybe, i cant really answer the question 'whats wrong?' i'm afraid to face the pain but most importantly, i dun wanna face the mistakes i have committed. but there is no turning back on this journey, there is no such thing as 'let's start everything all over again' without the pain. i dont know how to carry on. i dont know what else do i need to face. i dont know who would be there, who are just joining in the mess, or, wil you still be there for me.

Im so sorry but i love you.
I love you more.

2011-10-31T20:17:00.001+08:00

Cool eh cool eh cool eh.

Friday, 28 Oct.
Ptm.

Waited for bibi.......... k. met him at 4pm. headed to SSC for lunch/dinner at astons. went home at 7plus.

Saturday, 29 Oct.
Went out with sisters in the evening. nice day!

Sunday, 30 Oct.
K.

Monday, 31 Oct.
I slept for 2hours last night. cool eh cool eh cool eh. k. so i cried from one plus till i dunno how long. and i finally manage to fall asleep at 5am. woke up pretty abruptly at 7. so i had my swollen eyes on and i could hardly open my eyes.

Headed to sch for the paper with my glasses on. had to cover my swollen eyes and my beautiful eyebags. the papers were okay. i wont say they are tough cause i didnt really put in effort to study or do it. i just treat it some shit. k

After the papers, went to SSC with ayl. walk walk walk, had lunch at subway and walk walk walk. after ayl left i waited for bibi. was tryna get some internet connection at starbucks but i always fail whenever i sit at dat particular seat. so i went over to mac, bought a mc flurry and i STILL FAIL to get internet connection. oh well, took out the stuff i bought at diaso and wrote osj a letter. it's cool eh cool eh cool eh.

So, despite the two hours of sleep, im still alive and kicking. weeeeeeee

I grew speechless,
Left with tears.

2011-10-28T00:05:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, Wednesday, 26 Oct.
Afternoon, visited mummy's tamil fren for devarapalli. spent just a little while at her hse and left to meet bibi. caught a movie at J8. went selatar and ate some stuff at angeline's cafe. nice day with bi. wish to see you soon again. :)

Today, Thursday, 27 Oct.

Woke up feeling really unwillingly to attend sch. forced myself up. was hesitating if i should head to the interchange and switch bus/ take the long route to school/ stop at the 812 stop to head to sch. chose to stop at the stop in front of the yishun swimming complex and I CLIMBED OVER THE BRIDGE TO GET TO MY BUS STOP. yes, i cant believe it. i actually told myself, hey, maybe we should chose this path from now on, good form of exercise. but boy, it was tiring. the new route gave me so much more choices to head to sch.

Let's see. the pupil's forum was interesting and Ong tiam lye seriously is such a joke. he kinda speaks like me.. he start off a sentence and didnt complete it. he changes topic really fast and kinda talks to himself.. ummmm

Recess we were crazily playing some game. and i guess the last period was the most fun! had some cake celebration and AMANDA! such a inside joke. weeeeeeeee. kinda got more fond of 3E2 as the days got by. hehe

After sch, slacked with sisters. drank Java Chips. bused home with ayl. chatted a lot! hehehehehhee, you know i know.

Right now, people upset me. i just wish dat you can be der for me. i hate being judged, i mean who dun, but seriously being judged is such a fucked up thing. they judge you with the things you did and not the REASONS to it. referring to evy single dirty thing i did. dirty? yeah, dats right, i didnt used the wrong word. the word dirty fits here perfectly. and parents, sometimes, i really feel so upset dat i dun wish to reply to you guys at all. i really got tired of defending myself.

It got to be hidden.
Stop talking about it.

2011-10-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

Sunday, 23 Oct.
I rmb being asleep most of the time.

Yesterday, Monday, 24 Oct.
I SKIPPED SCH. cheh. i overslept and didnt went to sch. the worst thing were was i learnt my chinese spelling for nothing....

Oh well, spent my day sleeping and using the comp. kinda lifeless nowadays. and my osj came over to my place at night. awww. :)

Today, Tuesday, 25 Oct.
Went back to sch today. and the my bus 811 changed it's route?! i was stunned and almost turned to the lady nxt to me yelling 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE BUS DRIVER?' until i realise she was so calm.. and i rmbed someone telling me the route was changed.

Let's see. first period was PE today and had loads of fun playing soccer. evyone were fooling around. lit was a free period and we slacked in the library gossiping about SOMEONE and dat SOMEONE was just in the library. HAHHA. JOKE AH.

Anw, skipped amaths and headed straight for recess. the 3T ppl were having some food fair today? weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the cheese fries kinda did pissed me off. was anticipating it since 8 in the morning and i waited for so long! anw, the cheese fries were awesome and i kinda still feel like eating it now. hehe. oh and i bought onion rings and coke too! if only they were being sold evyday..

Nice day today. spent my day watching shows and i fell asleep after my dinner just now. sad ah.

Tmr is a public holiday and papa is forcing me to go out with them, -.-! no way. IT'S LIKE PERFECTLY LAID FOR ME TO MEET BIBI K.

Right now, hungry for subway, java chips, cheese fries and OSJ. xoxo

Those whispers,
Went into my soul.

2011-10-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 20 Oct.
A day of free periods in sch! k, short.

Friday, 21 Oct.
A really sad morning i would say. ms yong was announcing our results, whether we're retained or promoted during the first period. it was a really sad scene, cries and tears filled our classroom. we were happy for ppl dat got first, second in class. but those happiness were soon forgotten by our retainees. i find it really unfair, i think they should not be retained.

Oh well, gary lee kinda assured us dat NO ONE from 3E2 is gonna retained. i guess, thru this morning, i can see how the class really cares for another. i really want us to be still tgt as a class nxt year, NO ONE is gonna leave. prays.

So evyone kinda got moodless. oh well, the sec 4 graduation cermony was really cool. not so much of wasting time like last year.

After sch, went home. bathed and changed. oh yeah, and i forgot to eat my lunch, COOL OR WAD. so i kinda bought my lunch out before leaving home.

Headed to northpoint to meet with huixin and sihui. bought ayl's cake and headed to sch. thank god i was able to go into sch with my home clothes on. so i was eating my lunch der, and it was 5plus, -.-! anw, we manage to surprise ayl and it was fun! :)

Headed off to meet bibi after dat. walked around somewhere in yishun and had dinner at coffee shop. first time leh. HAHA. took the long route of 811 and alighted at the 7-11 stop somewhere near my hse. ate tom yam noodles! weeeeeeeeeeeeee. rched home round 9plus. had fun with bibi today. i love you, hope you like the dangdang book, stars and letter! like it mah? :)

Really tired when i got home. NICE DAY.

Today, Saturday, 22 Oct.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Super fun day at yanlin's house. just came home two hours again. really tired!

We'll make sure it work this time.
No more to lose.

2011-10-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Tuesday, 18 October.

FINALLY ATE MY SUBWAY.

Gonna go little with words today. im contended with my results but not rather pleased. i mean, hey, i could have done a lot better. look at my grades, my maths and sciences, i swear i worked really hard but wad do i get? C6. wads the point of scoring As for my humanities when those people are only gonna look at maths and sciences? there is no way i can make it..

Had a fun day. but im just in no mood to talk about it.

Today, Wednesday 17 Oct.
Slept pretty late last night.

Sigh. i really cant continue typing anymore. ending off abruptly. just one thing, the things i wished for nv come true. none of it. other den the becoming tgt part.

Still feel like eating subway now.

Day by day,
it pierces through my heart.

2011-10-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

Saturday and Sunday, 15 October and 16 October.
Didnt had a really nice weekend i would say. but still had two relaxing days after the exams.

Today, Monday17 Oct.
Finally returned back to sch after days of joy and fun. collect the results of 4subjects today. didnt really did as well as i expected i would say. esp my amaths. it's quite disheartening dat i still failed it despite the amount of effort i placed in. :( oh well, getting over it soon.

Tmr's gonna be the BIG DAY. getting back major subjects like maths and sciences, oh and english. all the best for tmr and gud luckkkaaa mouse.

No pictures today. didnt really caught any nice stuff recently. pretty stress about some stuff recently. hope i can get over them soon. i hate it when things are bothering me and i know i know i know, i really do know they're just minor stuff dat i can simply flick off my mind. but i just cant. it goes as simple as being broke. hate the way i handle things and see things sometimes. i hate how i cant treat certain things lightly. i hate it when things are suffocating me. arghhh

I just hope i can be happier. but hey, it's nnot like im sad now. im happy. but sometimes.. somethings.. oh well, feel like eating ice cream, sushi, pizza, tako, donuts and SUBWAY. guess food still makes me happy.

Be my rain,
give me rays of sunshine.

2011-10-15T00:28:00.001+08:00

Today, Friday 14 October.

HAPPY 11th MONTHSARY TO ME AND BABY. :)
It's a really nice day for me today. was suppose to meet bibi at 1 but i guess both of us are late. ahahah! met at 1pus close to 2instead. headed to vivo. walked around, and i finally drank my javachips! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. so we decided to catch a moive - Real Steel. it was really awesome. so touching and shokewl.

After the movie, we walked to Sentosa's resorts world and chilled der for the whole evening. here are the pictures! didnt upload all.

And did i mentioned, we had dinner at this place der dat was really expensive. and the food was not a bit nice! other den the drink.... oh well, was really full though. the place was really beautiful and we went home quite late today. wonder when can i see you agn baby..

K. time to finish my post. nothing much to complain today, HEHE. and i really love today. love you osj

You dont have to worry,
with me around.

2011-10-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Tuesday 11 Oct.
Caught with a high fever. was burning at 38.3 and i felt cold ttm. bad day i would say. lose of appetite and i didnt ate lunch.

The papers were fine.

Today, Wednesday 11 Oct.
Let's start by saying how bad my morning was. i woke up really late like at 0637. i rushed myself. i tot i felt better but i didnt know i was still caught with some unseen disease. sucks. i almost fainted. i could feel my version blurring like how it always will when i had a fever. i vomited when i was waiting for the bus. glad der was just an aunty der. who kinda got me awkward..

Rched sch almost late. felt dizzy throughout the paper. glad i was fine after the emaths paper. got a lot better when i was doing the lit paper. man, the papers today were so tough. esp lit i would say. i could hardly interpret the poem or prose. almost drowned in those words.

After the papers, went to meet baby. had lunch at tampiness ikea. ate a lot and we were so full! walked around at ikea, courts and gaint. rched home almost at 7. and im really surprise why my parents dun ask me why i come home at 6, 7plus nowadays. hmmm

Oh and i got a chocolate bar dat we bought at ikea! weeeeeeeeee, shall eat it ltr.

AND FINALLY. PARTY! well, did the exmas just ended today?i tot they ended long ago.

Entangled in these mess,
strings of love.

2011-10-10T12:37:00.000+08:00

Dear baby took it for me. it was drizzling and dat silly boy still ask me to take a picture. we ran and hide from the sudden downpour almost immediately after dat snap. shall put it as my profile picture soon. xoxo

Saturday, Sunday.
Ok so wad happened? oh. i almost lose baby. :(

Today, Monday 10 October.
Just had my physics paper today. i would say it's not tough but i know i will do quite badly. perhaps i should have studied more instead of thinking i have studied all i could. aww. kinda got dat demoralising feelings arousing. but oh well, 2more days, 4more papers. shall end it beautifully and i cant wait for the long hols! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Im trying my best to overcome wadever negative feelings dat are suppressing my mind, controlling my emotions. im trying to feel motivated by some people. im trying my best to be someone i used to be.

Cause in my life, there are so much things dat i should feel contented for but im always neglecting them. K, i cant wait for wednesday. i miss you baby. i know i have said this a lot of times, but please tolerate me. i may not have the ability to be understanding, but i can promise you i have the ability to make you very touched and feel loved. HEHE

Going down for lunch soon. HUNGRY TTM. gastric.....

Cause fear drives me crazy.
You're my fear.

2011-10-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

Today, Friday 7 Oct.

Upset with the super blurred pictures of us. no edits

After the papers today, went home to change and met bibi. shopped around orchard for the whole day. my feets were really tired. had a nice day. it rained again. been raining so heavily for the past few days, aww

Short post today. im really tired. slept at 3am plus last night and woke up at 6am. didnt caught a wink till now. restless ttm.

Loads of tots running on my mind. i have nv like regarding myself as useless, or people dat regard themselves as useless. i felt dat even though i have my inabilities, my entire life was still worthwhile. but recently, i got the hanged of using useless to describe myself. sometimes, you really need to give urself some good lecturing in order to get over things. no one would be der to scold me at times like this, only i me myself is left to fetch myself.

Angeline, really, you know you're a sinner. you always are. you will nv be able to wash this impurity off ur shoulders. even if those sins were a moment of foolishness, and i regretted, i repented, but wad happened can never be erased off ur history.

I wish the rain can rinse my sins away, wash me awake and clean my unhappiness off me. i wish the car could drive a lil faster, bang me down, kill me instantly and let my death be the fondest memory of dat day. i wish i can bang into someone, make he/she give me a fierce glance and scolds me, i would love to be protected.

You were happy.
I was all heartbroken.

2011-10-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

Today, Thursdsay 6 Oct.

I kept having this strange feeling dat it's a friday tmr..

Oh well, didnt posted for four days. papers after papers. felt quite contented dat i havent felt demoralised so far. i kinda always got dat man-i-should-have-this-and-dat feeling after the papers but i was quite pleased. guess it was thanks to my pre-crazy-revising-efforts dat made me felt rather relax. hehe

Only had history paper today and it wasnt of much problem, i meant the seq. whether i will do well anot, i shall not bother about it. at least i wrote down evy single thing i learnt. so, after the papers, i went home to change and met bibi.

I studied a lil at Sun plaza's coffee bean and we went off to chill. it was raining really heavily today. the sky turned so dark dat it seems like the night. sometimes, it's sad dat we got nothing to do.........

Went to meet my parents after dat. it's their 28th marriage anniversary. cool or wad. they were married at 22. well, was having a hard time deciding wad to eat. i suggested mahattan fish market in the end. they kinda didnt enjoy the food.. umm.

English and Mother Tongue paper tmr. dun really feel like studying anymore. i just cant wait for the papers to end. 4more days to be knock down. dun give up, cause you're A STRONG MOUSE.

I lost a feeling.
A feeling of belonging.

2011-10-02T23:11:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Saturday 1st Oct.

LOOK HOW SERIOUS IM. perhaps wasting paper.

Woke up at nine. bathed and got ready to go to sch for emaths lesson and i was told it was cancelled. felt a bit frustrated but i went back to take my nap. 12plus, bi txt me and i was so sad.. :(

But im sorry. at many point of time in our life, we often assume things which causes misunderstandings to happen. i felt like an asshole when i saw ur frens. i tot i'm always the unlucky one but i didnt really get a chance to know a lot of things. well, only you know wad im saying, right? but you promised me you wont do dat agn too.. wadeverrrrrr.

Okay, so we were suppose to settle down in SSC's starbucks for me to study but it was CLOSED? k i was slow. and dat wasted quite an amount of our time. headed to sun plaza instead. sstudied at coffee bean for 2hours! it's from 4plus to 6plus, it was really two plus leh bi. i did not fool around, i was so serious. hehe. THANKS for accompanying me anw. sorry to make you do nothing der dat you have to take my picture ah. HAHA

Rched home at 7 and i continued to study the formats for letter writing. chinese really is a tough nut to crack. there were loads of greetings and stuff to memorise for my chinese letter dat i almost went crazy. but i felt really proud of myself cause i did quite an amount of work. hehe

Today, Sunday 2nd Oct.

TOMMOROW IS THE BIG DAY. ARE YOU READY?

Snacks my elder brother bought for us. it shall be my energy giving source for the next two weeks.

Woke up at 12plus today. oh yeah. and did i mention. im ill. yes, IM ILL. bad sore throat which i just recovered from. but im still having flu and perhaps a slight fever now. my god, you cant be doing this to me. i remember during the mid year exams, i was having some 39.8 degree celsius fever while doing my two hour amaths paper. i swear i almost fainted. i hanged on so hard and even went orchard with bi. HAHA I must be a superwomen. i'm actually pretty strong, aint i? so, no fear no fear.

All the best for ur papers evyone! BE A STRONG MOUSE. 10days to knock day and hallelujah! we're free baby! shall rest earlier tonight and put on a tough battle tmr! weeeeeeeeee

This is for my one and only shujun, hey shujun, hi shujun, shujun, shujun, shujun, oh shujun, hey shujun, stupid shujun, mouse love calling you shujun a lot times to irritate you. hehe. SHU JUN!!!

Baby you light up my world like nobody else. (L)

K NIGHTS.

Shut those fears.
Hold those tears.

2011-09-30T22:54:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, thursday 29 Sept.
Late for sch. i swear it was the bus's fault. :(

After sch went to meet bibi. accompanied him to tampiness to collect his pay. slacked at seletar and rched home round 6. i love you shujun. i love you i love you i love you! i love ron too. hehe

Didnt studied much. felt guitly

Today, Friday 30 Sept.

Weeeeeee. had some two-tier cake during recess for the sept and august babies. it was so cool! we all thought it's gonna be double layer but ended but to be one and a half, ah hahaha.

Last day of lessons today. this is where the teachers start throwing in hints and clues to us for our eoy of year paper. and this is when we need to catch it real tight. hehe. hope it helps. and i almost forgot im the english rep.. well, the relief teacher asked me who is the english rep and i was like' shit, it's me.'

After sch, went to Ion with shermin, peilin and yanlin. shopped around and i actually went home quite early today. was feeling super duper tired. bathed, ate tomyam cup noodles cause i was still hungry and i slept immediately. studied quite a bit just now and i hope it goes well.

Finally it's a saturday tmr! but sadly, i still need to return to sch for lesson. oh well, ANGELINE, YOU GOT TO STUDY HARD. and i hope to see bibi tmr.

Unbreakable.
Because the one and only way is to accept.

2011-09-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Mouse on my hand.

Last two days, Monday and Tuesday.
Sunday was a nice day, monday was nice until some sickening thing dat happen dat can ruin ur entrie mood. tuesday aint any better. BUT, tuesday during english was so fun! it was a free period so me, sihui, amanda, hriz, jinghan and chuhao were playing some stupid stuff. we asked chuhao to make us laugh and evy single thing he did we just laughed like madddd. my stomach ached so much! his face really makes me AHAHA.

Studying not very hard for the past two days, hmm.

Today, Wednesday 28 Sept.
A very cold morning today. slept late last night but surprisingly i dun feel sleepy. boarded the bus without my wallet today and dat sucks.. oh well, here and der, rched sch pretty late. slacked at canteen and went up to class for assembly.

Lessons here and der. yeah, im too lazy to elaborate. headed home after sch today and cooked tomyam instant noodles for lunch. took a four hours nap, from 4pm plus till 8pm plus. guess dats how much sleep i was lack of for the past few days. and i wasted my time worrying about something worthless with xueteng. arghhhh. well, glad it's over.

Didnt do much work or study much today, kinda feel a lil uncomfortable about dat. 2more days of lessons before EOY. i dunno if i have studied enough but im worried, im worried dat if i studied too hard and got blanked out during the day of the exam, i will feel so much like giving up..

Nvm about dat. im on a little ecstasy now. baby came to look for me just now. hehe

I guess, the only person dat can make me so so so upset dat my whole world seems to have turned grey instantly is him. at the same time, the only person dat can change my mood so swiftly from tears of misery to tears of laughter is also only him.

Finally it's a thursday tmr and which awards me an hour more of sleep. hope tmr will be a better day. the start of this week seems to be so bad, so bad..

It seems too hard.
Save me from this dwelling.

2011-09-26T23:01:00.001+08:00

Im so tired, im so exhausted dat i dun dare to run my mind miles like how i usually do evy single min. i stopped doing it, i stopped. was it fear? was it fear dat is suppressing my mind so hard dat i dun dare to think a single thing? i dun dare, i really dun dare to think about it anymore. i just know it hurts like it always does.

I do not know whats the lie and whats the truth anymore. this defencing wall of trust grew stronger and thicker, no one can break it down now. i really ponder, why? why is it always me? do i really dun deserve someone to love me wholeheartedly? no lies, no pain, no hurt? there is no guarantee, i know, i really do. but cant there be an exception, just for me, once and for all?

I've tried all means. maybe you're right, i cannot change but you ought to see my efforts by now.

Fairy tales are lies.
Reality is cruel.

2011-09-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Friday 23 Sept.

Amazing friday, a day dat i have been yearning for. lessons after lessons, each stressing dat the arrival of our exams is just a week's time. oh well, cant rmb much. i just rmb i was yay-ing all the way during lit when i found out i can meet bibi. hehe

Went to amk to watch johnny english with bi. i was suppose to laugh, i guess. well, here and der, i dunno wad to say. sorry for not getting straight to the point and wasted a lot time travelling. just to let you know, no matter no bored is it when we are tgt, or when we just cant seem to find anywhere to go, anything to do, i still wish to be with you.

Rched at 6plus. bathed and i did my work. didnt study today but tried to complete the revision stuff given by the teachers. slept at 3am last night?

Today, Saturday 24 Sept.
HAPPY SATURDAY! i was kinda grumpy when i woke up this morning, uphappy with the fact dat it is a saturday morning and i have to head to sch for lessons. but felt quite energetic after awhile and went to sch happily! hehe

Emaths extra lesson with papa today. was being very attentive and after the lesson ended, a few of us stayed back to ask mr lim to teach us amaths. understand it sooooo much better den mr aw. and im so happy i finished my amaths wksheet with only two questions, or perhaps two parts of the question undone. I COULD SOLVE TWO LONG LONG LONG LONG QUESTIONS ON MY OWNNNNNNN. HEHE

After the lesson, went to northpoint to get lunch for me and mummy. bought mc wings for myself. and after i ate my lunch, i did my amaths worksheet all the way till 5plus! while using the comp for about an hour. and i studied all the way from 6plus till 9plus just now. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. sooo proud of myself and i hope evything enters my brain which it kinda does.

It's a sunday tmr and i will brush up on my emaths tmr. working very hard now and i hope my efforts do get paid off. approximately, ONE MORE WEEK TO EOY.

Mummy and papa are painting my room now and i think i kinda need to slp in the living room tonight, but still on my bed, AINT DAT COOL? k

Maybe you're right.
But you got to believe in me.

2011-09-22T22:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Wednesday 21 Sept.
First two periods was double lit. totally a free period cause we, the awesome five have finished our work. was watching movie on abaya's ipod and the rest of them playing games on the phones. lessons here and der. last two period of phyiscs was the best period! had loads of fun with matin and the physic people are awesome! hehe

After sch, went to meet bi. went to the tampiness ikea and ate sussage bun for my lunch. nice afternoon with bibi.

Today, Thursday 22 Sept.

Isnt that my name?

It was raining very heavily this morning. was slightly awake at 5am plus and was could feel the shivering cold wrapping my body tightly. covered up myself with my blanket and it was so nice to sleeeeeeep! didnt want to wake up and 7 but oh well, struggled to get up anw. Put on my jacket before leaving the house and mummy sent to me the opposite bus stop with an umbrella.

First periods was chemistry. trying very hard to pay attention and we wre eating potato chips and stuff. a very cold morning but lucky i wasnt sleepy.

After sch, stayed back for extra social studies lesson. i was attentive, hehe. and the lesson was not as dry as i thought. after ss lesson, hariz asked me to stayed back for chemistry lesson. well, so me, him and jinghan stayed back to seek mr lee for consultation. so we went to 4E6, he taught us some stuff and i guess i didnt waste my time.

Did a lot of work just now and revised my amaths. only a 10mins recap of all the topics and i was satisfied. guess im still in need of motivation. hope all this tiny revisions helps.

~

Sometimes, it feels really sad to only be able to stare at something you want and not being able to get it. you want it so badly but a force is pulling you back so hard dat you could only stare, you could only stare..

And sorry baby for just now. i couldnt control myself. i didnt mean to spam you. thanks for not getting angry. im sorry.

Pull me back up, please?
I must have been too weak.

2011-09-20T22:12:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Monday Sept 19.
The happiest thing i can rmb was EMATHS SRP WAS CANCELLED! and i was so so so so so happy. i was skipping around and laughing like a mad women dat seems like she got got A1 for amaths. hehe

So papa was absent today and the last period was Emaths as well. watched mr bean the cartoon version and i think it's cute.

Oh well, manage to meet bibi today. went to the airport and had tom yam soup with rice for lunch agn! yumm yumm. here and der and we went home. nice monday afternoon today.

" All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. " - Julie Andrews. dedicated this quote to benjamin and myself. chatted with him on fb and we both cried. awwww. HAHA. well, sometimes, the more you know the more you think. i blame myself for being too stubborn and persistant in finding out things. if it wasnt for my attitude like this, things would be different. but it made me realise wads really worth my fight anw.

Lies and lies. i rmb saying 'you will nv ever find true love' to someone. i felt dat he was playing around and nv treated love and even me seriously. but i look at myself, aint i a sinner? he cheated, i cheated, he cried, i cried. wads the point. Right now, i love baby and im still a sinner. well, no matter wad you do, it wont be worst den me. is it? it's the actions or the thoughts dat reflects the amount of love? if it's the actions, i have lost completly. if it's the thoughts, i have won this battle and you should retreat.

Today, Tuesday Sept 20.
Guess wad? the Physics srp was cancelled today too due to some staff meeting. aww, kinda didnt the fact dat it was cancelled.

Anw, feeling sleepy this morning agn and i slept on the bus agn. first period was PE and i fell.... i dun like the feeling of falling down cause i rarely do. i mean, since how many yrs ago i had fell like this? it's just a few scratches but i can feel the fear in me. AND MY SHOES GOT DIRTY. :( but im too lazy to wash them. let's wait till friday.

Lit was relaxing as usual but i felt a bit emo.. oh well, nxt period was Physics and we played a mind-f game for the whole period with mr matin! IT WAS SO DAMN COOL. jinghan figured it out first and follwed by some den i got it figured out! i kinda took 30mins but it's such a nice period. hehe

Blah blah blah, lessons seems to be quick as usual. and i was totally playing around during english. took pictures and hariz kept laughing at me.. and i ran out of words to describe. so i guess i'll end off here. i love the english period today!

After sch, went straight. took a nap. woke up, did my work, studied quite a bit and im very satisfied with myself. Quite a boring day today but i can sese dat time is pushing me forward so quickly. in another week's time it would be the EOY and IM NOT READY AT ALL. but im not studying dat hard YET, kinda still desperate for the motivation to do so. hmmm

Eating mc chicken for dinner now. sick of it. evy two to three days when dinner is not cooked, it'll be my dinner. and look up der! kept loads of mac pictures and i kinda, seem like, feel like, eating mc spicy now. HUNGRY TTM.

You will realise.
A liar never believes.

2011-09-18T19:46:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Saturday 17 sept.
It's a beautiful saturday but I was awake as early as 8! Almost overslept for the extra english lesson. Was hesitating if I should but my mummy kinda forced me to go. So oh well, prepared and headed to sch. The lesson was a bit waste of time I guess. But ms zuraida showed a really cool video! It's a very touching love story about a mute girl and a guy passing notes. Awww

Lesson ended at 10plus and I slacked with ben and patrick awhile. Justin came over somehow. Benjamin was telling me his love story uh. HAHA. And bff kinda told me some stuff dat made me a bit upset.. Chatted a lot and found out a lot things. Oh well, here and der, we went home at 11plus.

A tragic indeed. Fought with my mum and I cried. Sin said loads of nasty things and I clenched my fists tight and stared at her. She even asked me to leave the hse, yeah I would, provided you guys wont call the police or come disturb me. Sigh. Tragic

And I guess I owe an apology to baby. I was in a bad mood and I broke all the rules. Sorry for dat. I love you.

Cried and cried almost the whole day. Swollen eyes and I was really tired. My eyes kinda hurts a lot. I was really devastated. You know, the feeling like the whole world was pointing their finger against you? A whole bucket of blood was spilled onto you and you're being called a murder? Pretty ouch much. I hate having fights with her, I hate how she see me so lowly. And I hate the aftermath must. Why must she act like she is being gud after evything? Dread this.

Today, Sunday 18 sept.
A boring sunday. Woke up, had my lunch and slept agn.

Tried studying but I dunno where to start from and how to start. Worst, my eyelids starts to fall so naturally.

Oh well. I'm blogging thru my phone now cause my mummy kinda smashed the keyboard ytd with a hammer.. Yeah. Sounds funny but at the same time, dats how crazy and serious things were. Sigh. I need the keyboard so badly and I wonder when my brother will buy it. As least i'm still able to watch shows without the keyboard but I cant play tetris.. :( OH. and I cant talk on msn. Emo ttm.

Going down for dinner soon. They talks to me but I feel like.. Not replying cause I need my pride.

It's a ugly sunday and there is sch tmr! I hope things are gonna be gud tmr. I wanna have a happy monday. Lessons, please dun bored me and I hope to be able to slp early tonight.

Lend me a shoulder, give me a day.
Ugly death.

2011-09-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Thursday 15 Sept.
It's a thursday but i doubt the extra hour of nap made me feel any better. still as sleepy as ever. double chemistry, did the experiment with xueteng today and we completed it really quickly. okay, i cant rmb wad happened for the rest of the day. some lessons here and der..

After sch, went to meet bibi. THANK YOU BABY FOR THE SHOES. IM SO TOUCHED. HEHE. i was really surprised with the shoes. so we headed to amk hub to watch a movie. bought some food in. here and der, this and dat, me and him, you and i, and we headed home.

I seems to forget things easily now? umm. was posting evy single day for the past few days and today, having to recap wad happened ytd, seems to be a lil tough. time is moving too fast dat i doubt it could catch it's breathe, cause neither can i keep up the pace.

Slept slightly earlier ytd.

Today, Friday 16 Sept.

I woke up quite abruptly this morning. stunned to see '6:04am' on my phone. i forgot to had my alarm set and thank god i could woke up so amazingly.

As you can see, had muffins in the morning. my god, there are nuts in the muffin and i just realised dat. the godly image of the muffins are ruineddd. and i think i kinda like muffins recently. hmm

First period we had physics, matin is back. emaths was great, i was so happy i could understand wad my papa was saying and i could do the questions! OH. and we played soccer during PE today. guess it's pretty cool just dat i got hit by the ball TWICE. one on my left arm and i swear dat instant hit blew my mind off. OUCHHH. second was on my right leg but i guess it's not dat painful. well, IM READY FOR THE HITS! BRING IT ON SOCCER. hehe

Dats about it. last period we had lit and i changed my point of view of the new teacher. lessons were still relaxing as usual and had loads of fun with my group. we're the amazing five! HAHA

Headed home after sch. mummy didnt got my lunch for me so i went out with dat lil boy up der to get my lunch. bought 3 tom yam cup noodles. only ate one and i got so full. took a nap.

Gonna be a pathetic saturday tmr, it's a freshly baked saturday yet i still need to wake up in the morning and head to sch for english lessons. aww, i wanna slp. :(

Oh well, been using the comp for quite awhile, getting restless..

~

Not much of a ranting but just sorting out my tots. wad was i afraid of? evyone had fears and a lot let fear conquer them. i shall not let fear grab my mind away. I WILL DO THE THINGS I WANT TO DO. and i've been reminding myself this, 'no matter wad happens, at least he is der.' i guess my greatest moral support is baby even though you dun need to do anything. hehe. love you.

Not forgetting to mention, i had a new feeling recently. i kinda like the feeling whereby i could trust someone a lot, telling him almost evy single thing of my life, not afraid of being judged. after all, who can really accept one's changes? they couldnt, dats why they left. now i know who really loves me.

Smitten,
Hooked my hands onto ur arms.

2011-09-14T23:13:00.000+08:00

Today, Wednesday 12 September 2011.

I bloody freaking slept at 2am last night. drown my eyebags, kill it, sink it, kiss it goodbye man. okay, i woke up really feeting like missing the bus but i cant miss it thrice a week. made some coffee for myself and prayed for things to go well today.

Fine with the lessons today. things were smooth ~~

No edits, just dat candidly sexy.

Happy 10months anniversary baby. hey hi hello yo, it's me agn. yes, i got loads to say like always. i can send as long as 15 txt to you telling you about dat one situtuation, my feelings about it, ur mistakes, my mistakes. hehe, i know im dat awesome in doing dat.

But this time round, i really got NOTING TO SAY. shit, i ran out of words to say? how could this be? i cant believe it. you can imagine me making dat omg face now. oh well, let's keep it short and nice this time round, cut the crap and here we go, watch my actions for they meant my change for you, watch my words for they show my concern for you. so, ong shujun, you better WATCH OUT!

It's raining now. hope i can get some really gud slp ltr.

Smooth like the rain.
Enlightened.

2011-09-13T23:16:00.001+08:00

Today, Tuesday 13 Spetember.

I took a pictue of bi but he dunno looking at where sia. HAHA

SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL TODAY. well well well, slept at 2am plus night. so i manage to catch less than 3hours of slp? i swear my mind ran a thousand miles and nv even took a break for the whole of last night. it sucks to be so tired but being unable to slp due to things patrolling on my mind.. and angeline, why cant you just adjust your body back to those old sch days? WHY YOU STUPID GIRL. :(

Missed the bus this morning agn. and thank god the first period was a free period. took a 20mins nap while listening to music. felt sleepy for the rest of the day but i guess today is much more better den ytd. i feel happy today and im so entertained by lip ming and his bearbear or perhaps jiayi's pencil case. HAHA.

Oh and guess wad? i listened to dat damn guy today! i mean amaths. i was paying attention so closely and i felt a sense of accomplishment. hehe

After all, the new seating arrangement aint dat bad. shall get used to it although it's only gonna be round two weeks dat im gonna be seated der.

After sch, met bi and we had long john sliver for lunch. headed to amk to repair bi's ipod. somehow, we board the wrong bus and we ended up at thomson. oh well, i saw amk and i tot it will land somewhere in amk but i didnt even see the word 'ang mo kio'. no sense of direction angeline. and somehow agn, bi found dat place familiar, some kind of tree top walk. yeah, it's called tree top walk. it was really tiring with my freaking small shoes on. i tot they fit me perfectly until i realise my toes were curled up the moment i put it on. so imagine walking with ur feet wrapped tight and toes curled. it's damn painful.

So we had dat long long long long walk and my god, the bridge, well, somehow we're suppose to end up on a bridge but the gateway to it was closed.. but i guess it's okay cause at least bi went der before. so, we walked all the way and i was dying. we walked in dat forest for about an hour and im deadbeat.

Rched home pretty late today and i restricted myself from taking a nap. i cant make the same mistake thrice. i wont let myself suffer tonight once agn. therefore, no matter how tired im, im gonna hang in der! shall rest early tonight. but it's alrdy 11plus.. hmmmm

I hope tmr can be better than today. i really hope so. i hope tmr can be gud. i hope tmr there is no disappointment. i hope tmr things would be fine. i hope i can be happy tmr. i hope i wont cry ltr. i hope.. arghhh. angeline why are you so weak? get back up when you tumble and fall, stand urself up.

I love you baby.

Make decisions for yourself.
Flashbacks of us playing non stop.

2011-09-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

Yeserday, Monday September 11.

Yesterday evening, kind of a sudden news dat we're gonna go to town for dinner. i was surprise i wasnt reluctant, was i? oh well, last few hours to enjoy before stepping back to hell. not excatly hell but seriously, how the hell am i suppose to adapt back to sch life?

Anw, ate at a restaurant at somerset. the same place we ate last yr when it was papa's bday. i rmb clearly, right on dat day, i was devasted. i was really upset and didnt have any mood to enjoy dat beautiful place and their sexy food. oh well, it's more den a yr ago.. it was my fault.. hmmm

Ate quite a lot and i wanted to take more pictures of dat beautiful place but we left the camera at home. walked around and i bought a shirt at forever 21. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rched home at 10. and i slept at 2am last night. awww :(

Today, Monday 12 September.

It's meant to be blur cause no one is allowed to read our secret, it belongs to us only. <3

Woke up 10mins late den usual today. still manage to prepare myself and was i on time? hmm. well, wasnt feeling really sleepy. slacked in the canteen like usual this morning and guess wad? I ATE A MUFFIN. i know it's not a big deal, wads a big deal of a muffin?! BUT, it had been more den 3months since i ever bought or ate the food in the canteen, other den free ice milos from really sweet ppl. hehe

Lessons were quick. other den chinese.. she's back, my chinese teacher is back. oh my god. oh yeah, and zuraida's back too. things were flowing pretty smooth today, but i kinda dislike my new seating arrangement. makes me more stress and uncomfortable. i tot it was a gud idea to get the front seat but i realise the people around me felt like strangers.

After sch, had lunch at kfc. wow, bandito is finally back. took a 2hours nap when i got home.

Not really a nice monday somehow. sch sucks, i hate studying, i dread exams. but here is 22 more days to EOY. how can i ever survive thru this.

~

As for you, you have always been my motivation in life. when i wake up evy morning, i felt strong because i know you would be there for, with me, right nxt to me. no matter how bad my day is, as long as you're there, my unhappiness will eventually be washed away. i may be gud with words, but wad meant is really from the bottom of my heart. im changing, im trying, im doing it. self-control is after all not easy, and i really have problems handling my emotions. we can do it, can we? we can.

Let's get crazy right now.
Dance like you're the next queen in this town.

2011-09-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

Today, Saturday September 10.

Seems pretty sad to be still be still blogging at this hour, 1am turing 2. guess this is the last night i am able to slp so late and wake up in the late afternoon. i wonder how am i suppose to adjust my body to the hey-it's-6-the-ungodly-6am-agn time. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DO IT.

Gonna have a hectic week coming up. wads up, EOY is stepping really near us. and im totally not ready for it yet. oh well, let's just leave all this panicking to the nxt few weeks. however, i really wasted all my time for the past few days. no revision done or even rest. more of like, idling.

Dialed for KFC delivery as dinner. still feeling abit hungry.. hmm

~

Time for ranting agn. it's sad how i have to speak my blog and not a proper person. it's hard to get someone to understand how you're feeling, wadsmore, i cant even understand myself. i realise something about myself, i get affected easily. even just a few scoldings and i'll shut myself down with a black face. i cried easily, get upset easily, get angry easily, and yeah, contented easily, anyone's like this too? i find it hard to control my emotions, really hard. it's pretty obvious when im angry. i clenched my fists to tight, so perhaps, find things to hit. wads the best part? often, i ended up crying cause of the overwhelming anger.

There isnt a script for life, neither are we allowed to react any scene.
So why are you expecting those dream guys?

2011-09-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Thursday 8th September.
Celebrated huixin's bday. morning, all of us got ready our ambushing. bought her gifts and cake, and manda headed back to her hse to place all the stuffs. meet up with her pretending nothing was going on. hehe

Bought tom yam cup noodles to manda's hse and had them for lunch. played in the pool with our class Ts on and it was so funnnnn. dried up ourselves outside her hse, went in to get ready the bday cake for our dear ET. so, without her realising a thing, we succeeded in surprising her! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Really nice day today, filled with joy and laughters. shall meet up soon. xoxo

I could fall asleep today, i COULD. clap clap

Today. Friday 9th September.

So hey, wad time is it?

Can you believe it? i woke up at 10 today. yeah, it's freaking early for me. prepared myself and went to sch for chem lessons. saw baya and danielle at the bus stop. walked to sch tgt. more arrived ltr on. 8 of us, including me was slacking outside the class room for an hour and guess wad? 20ppl said they would be coming but less den half turned up. wads worst? mr gary lee DID NOT TURN UP AT ALL. yeah, eat ur mother, hehe. well, at least we had fun outside the classrooms. took pictures and secret shots with baya's camera. an hour ltr, all of us went off.

Pictures dat we took long ago but well, somehow it fits here. oh yeah, it's one of the picture i placed in bibi's scrapbook photo album, hehe. loads of love, muah. is this photo caption too long? opps

Afternoon, went to meet bibi. shopped at orchard for quite a while. went to bugis and met up with his frens. had steamboat for dinner, feeling so so so full now. bi sent me home and went to meet with his frens. so, here im at home and der baby is, with his frens at lower seletar.

Nice day today and im really exhausted. 2more days and we're back to those hectic days. i wish this holiday wont end. been going out evy single day for the past whole week. when would these days ever come agn?

~

Is the truth really that important? so evyone said yes to me. but i beg to differ. perhaps ignorant is the best solution. i believe the more you know, the more ur mind runs wild. yes, maybe the lesser you know, the more you will think, but after all, you dunno the truth, after all, you will still leave dat space of believing. so, is the truth still important?

Drop the worries, bury them,
And unleash those madness.

2011-09-07T19:59:00.001+08:00

Today, Tuesday September 6.

Smurfs in town!

Had mac breakfast. accompany mummy for her check up with papa. mac flurry for lunch and KFC for dinner. Not exactly a nice day..

Oh well, slept at 4am plus.

Today, Wednesday 7 September

Lied to mummy dat i'm going back to sch today. hehe. had a nice day with bibi! ate xiao long bao, walked round and round and found this amazying place with singapore's structures around.

Rched home at 6 and here i'm.

Umm. sorry baby, guess you know why. thinking back, i'm really sorry.

Short post agn. hungry for my dinner alrdy. cant wait for tmr, mandy's hse with sisters!

~

LA LA LA LA SING A HAPPY SONG. weeeeee. quite happy now i guess. please last.. anw, perhaps smurfs can make one happy. thinking back those scenes makes me go awwww, they're really cute. be happy, angeline, be happy evyone. i smurfs you shu jun. GOODBYEEE

Dont let a blue moon moment pass by.
Blue love.

2011-09-05T21:27:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday 4th September.
I cut my hair. OH NO.....

Today, Monday 5th September.

Blue with love.

Out to town with bibi! weeeeeee. had lunch at chinatown and watch THE SMURFS at iluma. i smurfs you shujun, hehe

Met up with my parents for dinner after dat. happy today! LA LA LA LA LA LETS SING A HAPPY SONG ~ ~

Okay, time for my never ending tots agn. so hey hi, wads up angeline? well, i kinda dun think im gonna work on my revision.. well well well, i just hope the motivation comes along by the end of this week. cant believe we need to go back to sch after 6 days, aint this a lil too fast?

One more thing. so, my insomnia is back? yeah, it's totally back. why do i have to survive like this evy night when it's the holidays? im pretty sleepy now so i hope ltr on, when i hop onto my bed, i can fall into my dreams immediately. i dun wanna toss and turn on my bed with those irritating tots running on my mind when others alrdy sinked into their dreams. prays for tonight.

Out in the city.
I'll try not to think.

2011-09-04T00:44:00.000+08:00

Today, Saturday 3rd September.

Imma smurf.

Been posting regularly this few days. hehe

Today, went to bugis temple to pray with my parents. walked around bugis and saw loads of smurfs on exhibition! so cuteeeeeee. had steamboat for dinner.

Shall watch the smurfs with bibi soon. :)

Those days,
With my hands in yours.

2011-09-02T23:44:00.001+08:00

Today, Friday, 2nd September.

Green with love.

All i wanna say is, TODAY IS A DAMN BORING DAY.

i guess i was on comp half of the day, a smaller percentage was on my bed. i kinda regret being too fast on my work. am i? shall get myself to the study mode next week.

A really short post today. much more of my feelings den the happenings today. loads of tots running on my mind as i was on my mind trying to find something to do. i asked myself if i should study or just cont to the last-min studying. i want to study i would say, but no motivation is pushing me forward.

Oh yeah. i really like benjamin's dance! i was on my bed watching the repost of their dance and i watched it twice. they should get the first place. although the dancers and atiqah's group were awesome too, but they undergo professional trainings before. i felt a bit unfair for team 3E3. hmmmm

Baby oh baby. im getting irritated dat you keep forgetting to read my blog.. but i said i would maintain. and i guess anger dun come easy anymore. you've got to praise me for me this.... K, bi just came home from work. it's 15mins to midnight, awwww. you must be tired. take care, xoxo

There are a lot of things you didnt know.
Those memories, never abandon.

2011-09-01T21:49:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Wednesday, 31st September.

I cant believe dat i had less than 3hours of slp and i headed to sch. oh well, at least der is no lessons today. went to sch at the usual timing and happy to receive the results without having to wait for the parents. hehe. quite happy with my results other den the fact dat i failed my amaths. ONE MORE THING! i finally got A for my chinese! weeeeeeeeeee. i guess the last time round i got it was last year, was it? i have no idea but i know my chinese teacher told me my results deteriorate terribly. okay, now i feel encouraged.

Had breakfast with sisters at northpoint mac. walked around northpoint and i went to meet bibi.

Went to amk hub with him and we had pepper lunch for lunch. caught a moive and we walked round and round and round and round while waiting for the movie to start. made our way back to yishun at 5plus and waited with baby for his fren. bi went to work and i went home. NICE DAY, HEHE

I did quite an amount of work today! im only left with half of my science paper, weeeeeeeee

Today, Thursday 1st September.

HAPPY SEPTEMBERS!

Okay, maybe i should say, happy teacher's day! had teacher's day celebrations today and i guess half of the time it was boring. maybe there could be more performaces. slacked around sch after the celebrations with the idea of taking pictures with the teachers but i guess it's much of a failure.

Headed home straight after dat. had lunch with mummy and dianchi outside.

And i slept for 4hours just now! HOW COOL IS DAT. okay, maybe it's not. but i laid on my bed from 2plus to 6plus. i was still damn exhausted when i woke up but i got up anyway.

One piece of good news for myself, i have completed ALL OF MY HOMEWORK. clap clap. well, there is still some questions not done but i didnt know how to do them so i guess i will leave them aside for the time being, until a kind soul is willing to offer me some help. hehe

It's the start of a brand new month today. i really hope evything is gonna go well, yeah, dats practically wad i said evy month. well, i told baby i'm gonna maintain my mood, the happy mood. i promise myself, i really wanna try staying happy, looking beyong things and not just stick to the negative mindset. i guess, our quarrels are often due to my foul moods. other den, 30 SEPTEMBER 8PM PLUS SOMEONE SCOLD ME FOR NOTHING AND IT HURTS SO BAD.

Alright, i'm quite happy today, please let this smile stay. and i kinda like my brain, i like the phrase dat i just came up with, *stares below*

Lay on my bed of roses,
they're without torns.

2011-08-30T22:43:00.001+08:00

And how did i manage to snap this?

Monday, 29August.
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. evywhere i go, anytime is it, fights all around.

Today, Tuesday, 30August.
Been waking up in the afternoons this few days. but i guess the happiest thing of all, i have finished three quarter of my homework! weeeee, so proud of myself. guess i will be able to enjoy my sept hols peacefully. shall do some revision, will i?

Oh well, after four days without sch, i kinda sinked into the holiday mood alrdy. happy dat it's just ptm tmr. it's weird dat i cant wait to get my results. other den the i-never-seems-to-understand amaths being underlined, im gonna do fine with the rest. proud to alrdy have 3As so far, hehe

Hope tmr is gonna be a better day. been feeling like hell for the past few days. and i tot today was gud, until.. argh. it hurts. it hurts to be tot dat way, it hurts to be seen dat way.

One more day to a brand new month. it's time to say HAPPY SEPTEMBER SOON! cheers, GOODNIGHT

All those pain i was given,
they made me stronger den before.

2011-08-28T15:04:00.002+08:00

Today, Saturday 27 August.

Happy moments can only be captured into pictures and turn into memories.

Finally, i spent my saturday with baby. it had been a long time since we went out to town, happy like this. is it a month or two? i hate times where we only meet once a week. i really tried catching evy opportunity for us to meet. but maybe things aint dat easy.

Met bi at khatib mrt train station. headed to chinatown and we ate the dim sum! hehe. we didnt ordered a lot but our stomachs were bloated after the meal, it was so niceeeeeeeee. walked around the streets of chinatown and headed to cityhall.

Well, i had a nice day today despite i felt dat it was short. or perhaps time always pass faster when we're happy.

Today, Sunday, 28 August.
Today aint any other ordinary sundays, THERE IS NO SCHOOL TMR. thanks to the persident elections. well, so tony tan is gonna be the new guy up der at the top right hand corner of the walls nxt to the stage in the hall? i wonder how long will they take to change all the photos. awww, but i really miss SR Nathan. why must we have a change of president? i feel so insecure, i feel like singapore is being ruled by someone else now and there is going to be a change in evything.

Sometimes, i really wish i can get rid of all the negative tots on my mind and just have my life lived happily. i really dunno why must my mind undergo so much thinkings, running here and der, wads the point angeline? it's a sunday afternoon and so much had happened for the last 24hours. things really changes so quickly.

24hours ago, i was still happy with baby. but now, seems like we fought agn. 24hours ago, i was still free from this mess, but now, i fought with her agn. why is happiness so hard to maintain?

Questions after questions.

Well, i made a lilttle promise to myself dat im gonna finish most of my work asap. i really wanna enjoy the holidays and perhaps study a lil, will i? i guess not.. evy single holiday i told myself i would give it a shot on revising my work but it seems like it never happens. i really need to get back on track..

Dun worry angeline, when there is a will there is a way.

When you're too tired to further think,
think of the hugs and kisses.

2011-08-26T23:41:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, 25 August.

Morning, was alone in the canteen. i was upset, really upset dat i didnt know wad to do. i sat der, i cried and tried my best to look fine. oh well, went up the hall with a angry and upset face.

First two periods of chem, our CA results were announced. i failed chem and i did really badly. guess all i could say to encourage myself is, only fourteen people pass it, so you aint dat bad! but i got to really work harder, well, empty words agn. doubt dat determination is ever gonna come to me.

I think i was upset agn for the rest of the day. all i rmb was baya asking me why am i sad agn. huixin asking me why i emo. alexius asking me wads up. dewi asking me wad am i sad about and i replied her, evything. is it really obvious dat im upset? i guess so. i go all silent and my face, instantly shows the sad look.

After sch, met bibi. bibi nv hold my hand for a long long long long long long long long long long time.. ouch

Went home, feeling like it's the hols.

Today, 26 August.
So wad day is it today? FRIDAY. finally, it's the last day of sch and we're gonna be on paradise for the nxt two weeks, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Morning, as usual, i fell asleep on the bus agn. and it was raining really heavily. such a nice weather for a nap so how can i ever miss it? but i think i nid to stop falling asleep on the bus before my image gets ruined.. i tend to fall asleep evy now and den. shooting range, bi's dental clinic, bus, class, hehe

First period was my dear matin's lesson. fun like usual and we got to know our physics CA marks. adding it up to my chem, im so glad i passed it, weeeeeeeeee. had double period of emaths after dat, thank god i didnt fell asleep. i tend to die a little when it comes to double emaths..

Anw, the most wonderful moment of the day was ENGLISH! it's ms chong last day today and im proud to give her the card with evyone's wishes on it! she was crying and the card made her more touched. awwwww

She gave us chocolates and she gave chee hui the it rep and angeline the english rep two bars! it was really sad and we took a class photo tgt with her. guess we'll miss her a lot. wads the worst? zuraida is back, OH NO.

Was 20mins late for our nxt lesson, how awesome. and i got really sad at the end of the lesson.. sigh

Skipped lunch agn today. no recess no lunch, and im really proud myself cause i didnt complain much today. good job angeline.

5days of holidays till ptm. how would my results be?

~

Be happy. i need to stop thinking and stop letting my mood change too swiftly. i just wish i could stop thinking a lil while and just accept wadever truth dat is given. why is it so hard? why must we have expectations? why must we have disappointment? i wish things can be keep to it's simplest form.

I could feel distance.
Whats left to be done?

2011-08-24T22:40:00.001+08:00

Today, Wednesday 24 August.

Slept at 1am plust last night. woke up feeling really really tired. and i even fell asleep on the bus. rched sch, went to the canteen and fell asleep agn.

First two periods was lit. was having a free period at first, was busy drawing those teacher's day stuff. i've been working hard on them for the past two days and today as well. but im still not done with it.. oh well, out of no where, the new lit teacher appeared. k, dat ruined our mood.

Aft dat, went up to the library to have our IC done. was mingling round with evyone and i think the making of IC is quite cool. anw, skipped Emaths because of the making of IC.

Amaths, i swear i was trying very hard to pay attention and understand wad dat guy is tryna teach. perhaps i still need more help, or maybe my maths just sucks. recess, i stayed in class to cont with my teacher's day card. aww, see how hardworking im. i wanna make it perfect and i had to redo.. ouch. waste of effort and time but im not gonna give up. hehe

Physics was super duper ultra fun today! cracked loads of jokes with martin and i laughed till i almost cried. i guess the most awesome thing today was the double physics period, i was the happiest. hehe

After sch, waited for jinghan to finish drawing his cards. went down the range and realise it's not opened yet. ended up, the both of us had to walk round and round the sch to look for the teachers. none of the teachers picked up my call so we ran all the way up to the bio lab to look for ms yong. did my work in the range and took a short nap after i finished my stuff. cant believe i really fell asleep and i had a couple of dreams.

Feeling really tired right now. i guess the moment i collapsed onto my comfy bed, i will immediately sink into my dreams. finally, it's a thursday tmr, i certainly need an hour more of rest evy morning. shall rest earlier tonight, promise to myself.

~

I guess after all, you cant expect evyone to do things the way you want. i couldnt understand why, i didnt know if i had to convince myself to look beyond things or not to treat this lightly. wad should i do? escaping from it wont relief me from this pain, yet facing it doubles the pain.

August is coming to an end in another week's time. it's really fast, so much faster den i expected. days, weeks and months, they seems to pass by quicker and quicker each day. why is 2011 ending so quickly? seems like it's rushing for the arrival 2012. hope tmr will be a better day. it's thursday, i hope things would be better aft i've seen him.

Whats in between us?
I needed you.

2011-08-23T22:05:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, August 23.
Upset.

Tell me wad is being nice if you bad mouthed me to the others? Tell me wad is being nice if you ransack my things claiming you have the rights to do so? tell me wad is being right if you think that im a thrifter when you're a gambler? give me ur definition of being nice to me.

Today, August 24.

Maybe one day, when i seek a consulter about my illness, you will then believe me. maybe one day, when i seek a counsellor all over agn, you will then believe me. maybe one day, when you see me in a coffin, you will then believe me. you? evyone of you.

I didnt ate during recess today. didnt eat lunch as well. tmr will be another day without recess and lunch. perhaps thursday as well, and friday. why? my body is ruined.

I couldnt even understand myself, let alone wanting you to understand me. who's right who's wrong. all i do is defending and attacking. i have never wanted defeat. i have always seen myself as a victim, is dat why i torture myself to let ppl pity me more?

Perhaps so. but why am i still afraid to reveal those scars? i always believe those scars would fade away. but wad if one day, they turn permanent, how would ppl view me as?

I would be blind, i would be deaf, i would not be able to think.
I am dead.

2011-08-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Saturday, 21 August.

Went to northpoint with my parents and brother. had shabu shabu for dinner agn. shopped around and ate yakun bread cause i was craving for it.

Slept at 3am.

Today, Sunday, 21 Angust.
Went out with wenjing! sort of a, supposely-to-celebrate-a-bday-but-ended-up-like-any-other-normal-day day.

So woke up at 11plus and i did nothing but use comp till im almost late.. wad was i doing on the comp? im getting no life. but it's okay. so i rushed and met her at northpoint. headed to bugis. shopped around and went up to iluma's top floor. went off to the church in cityhall and we listened to some talk der. it's weird. i got stressed up and I DONT KNOW WHY.

Anw, here im typing and tryna upload the pictures we took today. i almost forgot it's a monday tmr. i was having so much fun, relaxing myself for the past two days dat i really tot sch is far far away..

I look up at the sky and ponder,
where are you?

2011-08-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Thursday 18 August.

First two periods of chem, had our chem test. i studied a lot but after all, i know i wont do well. it's always like dat, i've always got this i-swear-i-did-put-in-my-heart-and-soul-studying-really-very-hard-but-why-are-the-questions-LIKE-THIS and i mean sıɥʇ ǝʞıן problem. okay, at least i studied, at least.

Baya made sandwiches for me! awwwww, so sweet of her. ate it during recess.

IT lesson today is pretty sad, it was ms nurul's last lesson. took a class photo at in the end of the lesson. head off to mt class. i guess it had been 3weeks dat my chinese teacher was absent. perhaps she is pregnant, like me.... oh well, was rushing thru some corrections with cheryl, ayl and tingjun. AYL KEEP TALKING ABOUT MM HAHA.

After sch, rushed to meet bi. ate lunch at ishi mura and studied a while there.

Today, Friday 19 August.
Could not board the bus on time agn. was feeling really tired, slept at 1plus last nite. forced myself out of bed.

Lessons were quite quick today. went for PT session aft sch. played around with monnut, cheryl and tricia while waiting for it to start = FUNN + CRAZY. was convincing hazim to end the pt as early as possible cause i wanna meet bibi earlier. he asked me to leave but goodgirl me says no. hehe. anw, in the end, luozhengyan asked us to leave earlier somehow. weeeeeeeeeee.

Saw bi outside the GO and waited for him to collect his things. went to J8, ate TOMMY YUMMY for lunch. rched home at 4plus and took a long long long nap..

Woke up round 7plus close to 8. did my work and der im, free of homework for my weekends! WEEEEEEEEEEEE. and did i mentioned? the little boy is staying over at my place for a few nights. he gets a lil irritating at times and easily angered me do shout at him. but when i watch my parents lecture and hit him, it hurts. he is just a kid no matter how mischievous he is, i want to stop them but i dun wanna be the one to be lectured instead. awww, :(

Let's just enjoy the weekends. no burdens of homework but just purely rest and fun. good job angeline! im hungry. i want to live with bibi. xoxo, GOODNIGHTS

Before you lay your fingers on me,
experience, understand and see for yourself what im going through.

2011-08-17T20:28:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, Tuesday, 16 August.
Went home straight aft sch. gud girl angeline. HEHE

Today, Wednesday, 17 August.
Woke up 15mins later den usual. was really tired. no matter how long i slp, i just cant seem to get the right amount of rest. oh well, shall try to rest earlier tonight.

Double lit, i kinda dun like the teacher.. she's creeping me out with her looks and tone. nvm about dat. started gossiping with baya and manda on the way back to class. and guess wad? papa aka mr lim is absent today! weeeeeeee, it means a free emaths period. so we continued to chit chat, or more of like, gossiping, hehe. found out a lot secrets and i guess we confessed a lot.

The rest of the day was okay, just a lil sleepy.

After sch, went down range for duty agn. tried my best to finished my work and im sooooo proud of myself, weeeeeeeee! studied chem tgt with jinghan, we were challenging each other AND I LOST HAHA. anw, i hope those things i've memorised stays in my mind. have completed a lot of work in advance and im so happppppy, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PRAISE ME? hehe

Rched home at 7.

~

Thoughts running down my mind as i was on my way home. the closer you are with someone, the more you get to know this person better, perhaps even the hidden side dat no one really realise. it's really creepy how impressions is changed, from the first time you met this person, till now, you're so close to dat person dat you no longer felt like you know this person. sometimes, the closer you are to someone, the further you will be drifting away from this person. be it family or frens, wad is real and wad is fake?

~

Hope tmr will be a wonderful day! miss you.

Okay, im going down for dinner now. didnt ate anything today other den a few peices of choclates. hungry ttm. BYEEEEE

As long as you dont think about it,
you will be happy.

2011-08-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

Today, Monday,15 August.

Brand new start of a week, gonna be a tiring week. no more holidays like how we have last week. felt really tirted when i woke up this morning. slept at 2am last nite, only had 4 hours of slp.

I fell asleep during the assembly programe. tired my best to be awake but i just gave up looking at the boring guy in front talking non stop about things dat i show no intrest in. i rest my cheeks on my hand and just shut my eyes. my head was going forward and forward and i think i look really stupid, oh no, did i? it's okay. evyone around me was falling asleep as well.

First two period of amaths at least didnt made me feel like slping. the rest of the day did pass by quite quick. oh yeah, we were given ipads to use during english lesson today. i tot it was cool until i realise paper and pen is still the best.

Emaths, i was so so so so elated, happy, joyful, gay dat mr lim aka my papa, didnt ask those who failed the test to go for srp. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i told atiqah, I DUN SRP I WANT TO MEET HIM, :( !

So, after sch, went to meet bi.
' Met at chongpang.
' Bought chcolate waffles! YAY
' Head to seletar.
' Went to seven 11 to buy cup noodles
' Ate and chit chatted under a blk

Okay, im starting to write down details of my meeting with you. know why? cause im happy each time i see you. even if i tried to get angry, i like how we just ended up laughing at each other. love youuu.

They will remain, they will change.
After all, you need to keep moving on.

2011-08-14T15:01:00.006+08:00

Friday, 12 August.

I feel like eating chocolate waffle..

Yesterday, Saturday 13 Agust.

My foot prints, hehe.

Sunny ~

SENTOSA - more pictures uplaoded on facebook.

Woke up at 9.15am. quickly went to bath and prepare myself. went to northpoint to meet up with cheryl and monnut after their lessons. headed to yishun mrt to meet the rest and off we went, to vivo city. bought the tickets for the monorail and boarded it clinching onto one another, there were loads of people! rched sentosa excitedly, weeeeeee. searched for the beach dat has the beach carnival which we were suppose to go.

Arrived der like lost birds. anw, played volley ball, captains ball and in the sea! splashed water and threw sand on stupid sunny. hehe. i guess i didnt regret, a really fun day with evyone!

Left sentosa for lunch at vivocity round 5plus. went to change and found out we have sun burnt on our shoulders, damn reddd. went back to vivocity and ate lunch john for lunch. 7, we went home tgt. on the train back to yishun, i was reading the magazine from the goodie bag we got at the beach carnival. whenever i filpped to a page with a sexy girl, i will turn my head right and look at sunny. HAHA HE SO FUNNY. the way he gave up his seat to a no-so-old old lady made me laughed non stop for one min.

I went to meet my parents after dat. ate, okay, i still cant rmb dat place's name. anw, ordered xiaolongbao! was really full. wads the best thing? bi was in northpoint too. but we didnt met. mummy wanna shop at the pasar malam near the yishun mrt station so we headed der and bi went der with his family toooooo. so i kinda tried to watch out for him. suddenly, i saw this guy dat resembles his dad den a lil girl, his sis. and i saw my dear bibi with his mum. thank god for letting me to see you cause i was really upset dat you cant meet me.

Today, Sunday, 14 August.
Midnight, 12. Happy 9th month anniversary baby.

Well, maybe i got used to it dat it no longer hurts dat much. but i know i was sad, yet, i expected it, i really did. no words could describe how i feel anymore.

Had a great night playing chinese chess online with bi. he taught me how to play. we plaed games from 11pm plus till 3am plus bi. and you spent 2hours teaching me how to play chinese chess. it's really funnn!

Slept at 5am last night and woke up at 1pm plus just now. going to grandma's place ltr. oh my, my sun burnt really hurts. i can feel the instant pain as i turn myself on the bed and accidentally rub it against my mattress. cough, i have been coughing non stop for the whole week. couldnt even have a proper slp.

Sigh. sch agn tmr. it's a monday, i dun wanna go for maths srp tmr and return home alone so-emo-dat-i-dun-wanna-go-home. i still feel like eating chocolate waffle.. :(

Do it before it's mentioned.
Cant you see mine?

2011-08-11T22:53:00.001+08:00

Today, Thursday, 11 August.

- Drawing in class agn. HEHE

Unlucky or wad? passed the aiss-crazy-skirt-and-pants-check-with-warning-letters-of-suspensions at first, but as i went forward to help bring up some bags, ms yong caught me. den mr yao zi jian added on, 'angeline cannot pass!!!!' wah thanks ah. so i went up the stage grumpily. i mean hey come on, it did touch my kneel by somehow okay? are you blind? yes you are.

Well, loads of us received the warning letter of suspension.

First two period, chem. oh no.. trying very hard to understand. but i guess i really need a tutor on dat. save me. at least i did manage to achieve some results by slightly understanding wad mr lee is saying. Emaths, i found out i failed my maths test. yeah, dat means emaths srp on monday. and it sucks. :(

Amaths, had this really, is it a test? yeah. it's a really tough test dat i wasnt even able to solve a single question. ouchhhh. i think im so gonna get a 0 for it. i stopped listening to dat guy since a month ago i guess. even though i act like i was copying notes, nothing sinks into my head.

ICT, i turned a lil moody. i kinda stomped off to my chinese class after lesson ended. well, i was feeling a bit upset due to some reason. last period, chinese, i did quite badly for my CA paper. oh no. wads with my results recently? i know i need to buck up, it's just dat i cant seems to find the right time, right reason, right motivation to, yet. wad am i suppose to do when my mind just keep rejecting all those things those teachers splits out? try and focus which means failing to concentrate.

After sch, met up with bibi. i had mac spicy for lunch, weeeeeeeeeeeee. okay, think we did loads of stuff today:
' went to catch 'zookeeper' in golden village at 3 and it's koitekewl.
' bi had his lunch, at the coffee shop nxt to interchange - laksa.
' walked to the aquarium shop.
' nxt up, back to northpoint.
' harvey normal to print pictures.
' bought cheese balls.
' went back harvey normal to collect the pictures.
' walked around.
' boarded 811 at 6.

Well, i kinda didnt want to head home. it's sad, it's sad to return back. i didnt feel like returning home so i didnt alight when the bus reaches my stop. so we headed to seletar instead. rched home round 7 plus.

Bi you took this? the moon.

Okay, i guess you took most of them. great afternoon! wonder when can i see you agn.....

~

A really long post with loads of pictures. i really like taking pictures, even of the simplest thing. i wanna get a camera, or maybe, i wish i have one.

SS seq test tmr. not fully prepared but read thru and memorized the notes, hope i wont screw it up like how i did for my maths and sciences. shall read it agn ltr. and finally, it's FRIDAY tmr. cant wait for the wkends to be here. those national holidays certainly made me got into the holiday mood even till now.

Getting sleepyy. wanna slp soon. last picture of the post which i forgot to add in my post ytd. i wore a shirt which shows my belly ytd, hehe. GOODNIGHT fellow mouse frens, xoxo

Dont ruin the situation with those thoughts you think are true.
Dirty.

2011-08-10T19:59:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, 9th August.

Was slping and i received miss calls from amanda. my alarm rang with an interval of 10mins, from 6.30 till 8, i finally off it. woke up at 8 plus, the time dat i was suppose to be meeting the others. rushed and prepare myself.

So when i rched sembawang, had a hard trying to look for evyone. anw, manage to find baya's block and gave her the not-really-a-surprise's surpise. played around, chased each other around the blocks. i guess the saddest thing is we actually made her lil sis cried. oh well, after all the fun, went back to baya's place. chatted with her sister in her room and awww, she's really cute. she likes to be prettyy and she thinks we're MEANIES/ BAD GUYS.

Went back to sun plaza. somehow, some stuff, here and der, i rched home..

Night, went to Khatib mac to have dinner with my parents. we ordered the family dinner box and i think it's shoshoshoshoshoshokewwl. there's 3 pack of fries, 3 cups of coke, 2 apple pie, a big mac, a mc grill, a mac spicy and cinamon bread? forgot wads dat called. oh yeah, there is nuggets toooo. weeeeeee. i ate mc spicy of course.

Well, dats wad happened in the late night:

I cried as i typed dat on blogger. i was breatheless and i could feel myself carrying an overwhelming pain dat i could hardly bear. i was so upset. i felt like the whole world despise me, evyone hates me, my family and even him. i was helpless, i wanted to rch out to someone, but who? the one dat i wished could help me, dun really bother i guess.. i dunno. i was lost. i didnt even typed out the last two sentences i always type after each blog post. i just felt like telling someone- blogger.

When i regained from my senses, i was alrdy filled with bruises. and this time round, there is blood. do i regret it? no i dun, never ever.

Today, Wednesday, 10 August.
Woke up at 10am plus this morning. it's really early for me i guess. lazed on my bed for an hour or so facebooking.

And i cried agn. why? cause i found out something really disappointing or i should say, it's really really a couple of stabs to my heart. i felt like leaving this place they call 'home' because the longer i live here, the more i realise how scary it is. how much secrets are exposed, how much pain are revealed and how long must i bear? 'home', no longer wad the way it is when i was younger, no longer the shelter i seek, no longer the warmth is felt. it feels so distinct, i dunno wad's gonna happen evy single day, it just feels like, a prison.

4, went to northpoint to look for wenjing. she was suppose to be studying and i felt like i kinda took away two hours of her time. oh well, had my dinner at subway. didnt really catch up, shall meet up soon.

~

Sch starts agn. thursday, tmr is thursday. just called papa to buy tako balls for me. miss it.

It really hurts.
Tell me what can i do.

2011-08-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

他们全部都不喜欢我, 他们全部都很讨厌我. baby 也是不喜欢我, mummy 很讨厌我. 他们全部都不喜欢我. 我是害人精, 我不好, 他们全部不喜欢我. 没有人喜欢我, 他们都很讨厌我.....

2011-08-08T22:49:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday, 7August.
A really fruitful sunday. i completed almost all of my work today. woke up in the afternoon and did my work all the way till evening. felt really proud of myself. hehe

Today, Monday, 8 August.
Geee, i overslept this morning.. was awake by ayl's txt agn. didnt really rush but was feeling so stress-free as i prepare myself. well, cause there is no lessons to bear, no counting of time left till sch ends.

So, national day celebrations today. formed the word 'majulah' in the courtyard this year. photos not up yet. had the national day celebrations in the hall. tried being hyper but the class seems to be a lil dead. sang songs, took pictures. it seems to be a bit dull this year.

Went up to the fourth floor to take our history sbq test. ended off close to 11am. had KFC for lunch at northpoint with sisters. headed to safra wanting to play pool but full house. turned to the bowling place instead. only had a few tries cause i didnt had money to pay, well, thanks guys but i think it's really not nice to play without playing. first attempt at it and it's quite funnnn. weeeee, nice day.

Holidays for the nxt two days. wonder wads gonna happen.
~

It hurts, it really hurts. thinking back, i dunno why did i let it pass by so easily. wad was on my mind? i cant do it but im afraid, im afraid you're gonna get sick of saying sorry and scold me more like how you always do, saying dat i pushed you away..

im stuck here with this pain. no matter how much i pretend to be fine, inside me, things will never be fine. i felt like you're no longer someone i know because you never used such words on me, no matter how angry or how overboard i was, you never. but why? why did you do it to make me turn so upset and turn all silent whenever i tot of it?

Lies, even im lying to myself right now.

Tell me what to do.
For im losing this passion.

2011-08-07T02:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Friday, 06 August.

Funniest thing in class today.

Let's see. was feeling really sleepy for the whole day.

After sch, mr lee came to class to teach us Mole concept agn. well, i still kinda have some doubts.. chem oh chem i can never feel ur existence and see thru you. please let me have a better understanding of you, im dying of seeing those chemical equations and symbols.

Went to watch the juniors having their PT after dat. almost got burnt into a roasted mouse siting under the hot sun. i dun wanna move to the shade, cause i can feel the scorching heat on those lil kids and i think let's be fair by experiencing it myself. awwww, HEHE

Went home straight after dat. took a 2hour nap still feeling pretty tired. well, woke up and did my work all the way till night time. gave a lil promise to myself dat i wanna finish my hwk asap so dat i can enjoy my national day holidays. weeeeeeeee~

Today, Saturday, 7 August.
Went to Chinatown with parents. ate dim sum for dinner, niceeeeeee. and i met a siaosiao guy today..

~

You do. you did. you used to be nice, i used to nice too. maybe it's true, after the guy gets you, he will take you for granted.

It's 3mins to 2am. why am i still here? my heart is aching. i felt like the person i love most just shot me into the heart. all the flashbacks of us being happy tgt flowed into my mind as i fell onto the ground with my bleeding heart. i tried to use my hands to stop the blood from flowing, but it seems like the bullet is too strong for me to handle. my clothes are dirtied with the blood, i feel like im dying. i wish you can save me, but all you did was stand der staring at me. i look at you helplessly.

I despise myself.
Loving you is so painful.

2011-08-04T22:27:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, 2nd August.
I went home straight after sch, gud girl.

Yesterday, Wednesday, 3rd August.

I pray for today to go smooth and steady. cause today, i want you to be the happiest bday boy.

For the past few weeks, i've been looking forward to this day. although it's not my birthday, but i really felt like it was as if i was anticipating mine. happy birthday baby. hope you like the cake, scrapbook photo album and basket ball. HEHE

Morning, woke up feeling very excited about my surprise for bi. i really hoped evything is gonna go well. all dat i have planned, wrote, drew, bought, i want them to be presented to you perfectly. but i was really disheartened when i found out you have something on and i cant make you happy with my sudden appear. :( aw. i was so stressed up and got really upset dat i felt like crying. i mean, hey come on, it's like i have been trying very hard to figure a really cool plan for him and it ended up like this?! i kinda still wanna hold onto dat inch of hope. tot of other ways but it seemed like nothing's gonna work. was on the verge of giving up, but i was encouraged not to and i know clearly, if i want to see him, by all means, i will still find dat one possibility which is alrdy sinking among the impossibilities. oh well, i did it!

After sch, went down range for a while. well, it was suppose to my duty today but i took a half-day-leave, weeeeee. was trying to do my work down in the range, but i cant. i know nothing about mole calculation. can i count the number of mole on my face instead? :( worst, cheryl and monnut didnt learn it yet, now who do i seek help frommm. okay, so i gave up and played around instead. left at 3.30.

Went home, bathed, changed, did some stuff and headed over to northpoint. printed some of the pictures dat i left out for the scrapbook album and went to collect the ball. and guess wad smart me did? i went to the library to wrap the really big basketball. at least i didnt went to mac, which i wanted to, opps. 7plus, rushed to bishan's icing house to get the cake done.

Wrapped present!

Spent 20mins on this..

The end product.

John, 3.8.11. why did i wrote dat? i swear dat wasnt want i wanted. but the cake was small and his name is long..

So after i got evything ready, i train-ed all the way from bishan to jurong, and jurong to clementi to look for the bday boy. as planned, he was waiting for his 'frens' to appear. when i rched clementi, saw the silly boy standing der txting me. i hide behind a wall and replied him, 'walk to the left' and weeeeeeeeee, we met each other. well, the smile on ur face was my greatest content.

Train-ed back to yishun tgt. i had a really great time with you bi, although it's just an hour plus, but i know you're happy. and dat made me really really happy. i still smile to myself when i tot of it. HAHA CRAZY ME.

I really love today and i hope it's an unforgettable bday celebration for you bi. xoxo

Today, Thursday 4th August.
Woke up at 7 this morning. had a really gud rest i guess. dread waking up as early as 6 in the morning. i just wish i could shut my eyes a little while more.

Assembly program was a lil boring today. and i had a really embarrassing moment. after the announcement was made, guess wad i did? i gave a really loud clap. i have no idea why did i clapped! i kinda got used to the clapping since it's honoring ceremony today and i got really shy after i gave dat LOUD LOUD CLAP. i've got a couple of eyes on me and they are like, 'huuuuat?'

First two periods double chem. oh no, i really really really hate chem. someone, please lend a helping hand by teaching me the stupid mole. i cant do it. :(

Lessons was fast for the rest of the day. but it seems to be a lil weird without the scrapbook around. at times, i want to take it out under my table to draw something when i was bored, but i realised, it had left me. awww. i really miss it. felt like i just gave away my thousand dollar painting to someone.

Dats about it i guess. really long post and i still have got loads to say. but i wanna catch my drama's last ep before i go to bed so i got to end this abruptly. after sch, went to the aiport T3 with bibi agn. had fun eating at the Kopitiam and slping on the bus! love you loads.

I wish im the only one for you.
But i cant guarantee myself for the fear of disappointment.

2011-08-01T23:04:00.001+08:00

Today, Monday 1st August.

Cool? saw hariz's and asked him to draw for me. guess it needs to be improvised...

Like any other mondays, the same old routine, the same old lessons, the same old people.

Anw, assemble was nice today. i kept talking and laughing at the the skis performed by the sec twos. my throat was getting itchy from all the talking, i think i was really noisy. hehe. so, i guess my day started off quite well today with the entertaining assembly programme.

PD was funnnn. we had to draw on 'what i love about singapore'. of course, i love drawing, weeeeeeeeee. double amaths, i talk and i talk and talk. okay, chinese, i got scolded for my wrong words agn. den you know wad my chinese teacher did? she drew a sad face on my paper, with tears flowing down, HAHAHA. CUTE AH CHER. Chemistry, we got back our test papers and i failed terribly, imagine dat hey-i-got-a-single-digit feeling. double english today, and uh huh, double free period like always.

After sch, was hesitating if i should attend the maths extra lesson. asked almost evyone, looks like evyone is not turning up. ended up, only one person's gonna go for it so i headed home.

~

It's the start of a brand new month today. i welcomed august quite happily, i slept quite comfortably last night. other den the fact dat it's the start of the seventh month.. kay, dat sucks you know? im scared.

July, it wasnt really filled with drama. it was much more peaceful, or perhaps, der was overwhelming silence. it's a month where i had to get used to life after the june holidays, a month where things seems to have a turning point. i wish for the better for the nxt 30days.

It's the tiny hope that makes it special.
And i thought those were the best memories.

2011-07-30T23:39:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Friday, 29 July.

Breakfast for myself.

Made breakfast for myself in the morning. dunno why i had the urge to do it. but oh well, i made two squares. hehe. last physic eating-lesson today and we had a feast.

DSA after sch agn. ended off quite early today, had the hand-over ceremony. it was a very fun afternoon, loads of real funny stuff:

- we ate potato chips secretly while on duty and it's funny how we tried to hide it when Mr yao walk past.
- I called mr luo zhenyang by his name, i was asking him, 'mr luo, zhen yang? zhen yang? how?'
- me and cheryl keep bullying sunny, we hit his stomach and hit him non stop. hehe
- hazim accidentally hit my __ den i say very loud he paiseh ah. hahaha
- Jason said: 'why you keep eating the same thing?' he is refering to my sandwich. i was like 'HAHAHA'
- played 'sunny says (simon says)' and i said: sunny says stand, shake ur butt, shake vigorously' den dat stupid sunny really did it! me and cheryl laughed like crazy.
- when we're taking the group photo, ms yong was helping us with it and we told her, how bout you turn the cmaera over and take urself together with the group of us? and she really did it, funny ttm.
- place the masking tape, you know it's round, with a hole in the middle? uh huh, i put it on my ear and was 'talking on the phone' with cheryl.

5plus, some of us decided to go to the playground near sch to slack. me and cheryl emo.. i felt really sad. i guess, i can nv explain it to anyone. bought ice cream near by, i shared with cheryl cause she cant eat. wiped the ice cream stain onto jinghan's shirt. he so poor thing, keep kena bully!

Played games at the playground. first it was some whispering-something-into-the-ear thing den we played some athletic game on hafiq's phone which allows 5players. headed home at 6plus. rched home at 7, feeling really emo.

~

Today, Saturday, 30 July.

It's my elder brother's bday today. he's 8years older den me and i think we still get along pretty well. sometimes, he is more childish den me. i mean seriously. but im grateful dat he dote on me a lot, he bought a lot of things for me. like how bibi does.

Woke up at 11am today. lazed on my bed till 11.40plus. woke up, did my work till 3. evening, went to yck sakura and have our dinner. i swear im sick of it. i didnt ate much and i complained, im full, i dun eat alrdy. oh well, i drank loads of ice milo after dat. and i kinda, fell in love with ice milo.

~

Can you belive it? go get some sleep and tmr when you're awake, you will realise, 'oh no, it's sch agn...'. uh huhhh. dats shoshoshoshosaddd. well, maybe sch is better. staying at home makes me kinda, more emo. i dunno why. i hate having moodswings. i had them too frequent nowadays. someone, save me.

Bi, this wad i wanted to post on ur wall. but oh well, here it is:

It's wad i wanna give you last night. rmb i said 'surprise'? i nv say anything about it den you also nv ask me, must have forgotten. actually, i did did it last night, but it was another one. kinda, not really nice so didnt give it to you. retook the pictures and did it this afternoon.

It had been one week since we met. i dunno wad to say, but i wish we can be closer instead of having this distance between us. did you felt it? guess you didnt. cause im the one who always over thinks and makes myself sad.

After all, i was the one that changed.
I wish we can be more brave with our love.

2011-07-28T22:16:00.003+08:00

Monday, 25 July.
I rmb it was a joyful monday. but i can no longer rmb wad happened.

Yesterday ; Tuesday 26 July.
Went to J8 with huixin and yanlin. walked around till my legs really ached.

Today ; Wednesday 27 July.
I guess i should really start jotting down happy memories before they fade away, like the past two days. was i happy? i cant rmb. seems like i dun rmb a single event.

Let's see. double lit, i didnt bring my lit book. and i was pretty lucky dat she didnt use it today or else i'll need to photocopy it, which is like so retarded. Emaths, had our test today. it was tough, aw, i was frantic for a few moment when i couldnt solve question one, part (a)i. History.. Amaths.. dats when my moodswing start to crept in me.

I hate it when i just have a sudden change of emotion, and worst, attitude. yeah, i attitude when im in a bad mood, kinda. i'll just go really quiet and starts living in my own lil world. i almost cried during recess, am i mad? i mean, shermin just asked me wads wrong and i was like, 'is something wrong? huh? i think something is wrong.. how come i didnt know something was wrong?'. some annnoying feelings struggling in me.

Den i got really mad when they called me names agn. i mean, like wad is wrong with you guys? i swear i almost want to pick a fight if my pace was slower. stop acting like gays lah. maybe tmr i will shout back at them. alright now, wad is wrong with me? i used to treat this so lightly until i just got dat sudden anger in me..

Chinese, we had a test and i tot it was quite easy. last two periods, my fave teacher martin. i guess it's the best period of the day. loads of fun with him. fri is the last day we can bring our snacks into class, he's gonna start feasting nxt week. papa bought oreo, funny or wadd. i expected him to buy potato chips for me.

Duty at range after sch. loads of funnnnn. laughed and laughed and laughed. and i did my amaths homework, with the help of cheryl and sunny. gud girl angeline.

~

I typed all of dat ytd and i felt so different today.

Today, thursday 28 July.

Woke up early early early in the morning! slept at 4am last nite, i couldnt seems to get myself into my dreams and i dunno whyy. forced myself up at 6 this morning. quickly bathed and get my stuff ready. soon after, i took out the butter, ham, cheese and bread and started making bi's breakfast. hehe. happily spread butter, place the cheese. and i was falling asleep while preparing them. i was really tired.

Finished spreading, slicing and placing them into zip lock bags, i looked for a paper bag and put evything inside. rushed to catch the bus with angyanlin. bought ice milo at buzz and in it go, into the paper bag. and dat's bi's breakfast. met up with him at yishun mrt train station and handed over the hey-it's-made-by-me-i-mean-it's-made-by-ME-breakfast. was really contented, ur smile was really cute. my heart melted and i went 'awwww' like how i always do. hehe

Headed over to northpoint mac. was struggling if i should eat mac or i should just skip it. i guess, being in mac, how can you resist? HEHE. and some stuff was rotating non stop on my mind so i just.... did it.

Oh yeah. i havent even tie my hair or have my badge on. i was in such a hurry dat i even forgot to bring my rubber bands and clips, -.-. borrowed all the hair accessories and i hope i will rmb to return them tmr. i seems to always misplace those hair clips dat i borrowed.. ummm.

My own breakfast, hamy and cheesey, aw.

Been boasting this to almost evyone in the class!

First two periods was chem. did experiment agn and it's really shoshokewl. now i finally can understand wad the teacher keeps rumbling about, soluble? solid? liquid? wad?

Bah blah blah. tiring day. i guess the most happiest thing was the morning. i like the feeling, i dunno how to describe it but it made me feel appreciated. when it comes to doing things for the one i love, i have never want to disappoint him but give him the best i can.

~

long long long long time since i put a smiley face, a 'L-O-L' or 'Ha-ha'. i kinda developed a sense of fear towards them.. but you know what?

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha

GO AWAY MY FEAR. GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE. K BYE. NIGHTS.

Where'd you go?
How can i ever adapt to those changes.

2011-07-24T22:42:00.000+08:00

Today, Sunday 24 July.

I think i kinda, seems like, feels like, took too much pictures ytd. hehe

I almost couldnt believe it's a sunday today, it's a monday tmr. aint this a little too quick? spent my time idling around. tests coming up tmr but just cant bring myself to narrow my mind into studies and not some other things.....

I guess tmr's gonna suck. monday blues coming my way. i wish this week can end a little faster, i need another friday, another weekend. have fun in sch peeps. goodnight.

Please tell me i didnt think too much?

Cause tonight, we're gonna make it work.
Baby im gonna cuddle us together.

2011-07-23T23:23:00.000+08:00

Friday, July 24.

Okay i dun rmb any other things. after shooting dsa, we had a MARATHON IN THE SUPERMARKET. 5plus, a group of us went to ssc giant and we were running around like hey-aunties-it's-our-first-time-in-the-market-cant-you-see? massive taking of food. hehe. bought loads of stuff and sunny bought 200 bucks for the groccries! rched home at 6. tireddd ttm.

Saturday, July 25.

I took this before i left.

The slide at the airport, airport. <3

weeeeeeeeeeeee. BBQ at sunny's hse today. woke up at 9plus. suppose to meet cheryl at 1030? i tot it was 1045. arrived late at northpoint. walked around while waiting for hafiq. and he was suppose to meet us at 1052 but he tot it was 1152! waited for him for quite a while den saw afifah and syafiqah. ended up, tricia's dad drove us all to sunny's hse.

12, rched sunny's hse. started up the fire. a great great great bbq session! but it was pretty sad dat i had to leave early. aww, :(. but it's okay, i chose it this way.

3plus, went back to northpoint to meet bi. and guess wad? we went to the airport! weeeeee. it was like heaven. i love dat place so muchhh. ate tom yam soup at Kopitiam. walked around for a while. rched home at 7 on the dot.

~

I'm tired somehow. i want to fight for my future. but where am i heading too?

Look at them,
Did you choose all that to happen?

2011-07-21T22:46:00.004+08:00

Wednesday, 20 July.

Maths carnival - drew them on sab and zarreen's game. hehe

Phyics - testing for the center of gravity of my shirt.

Hmm. woke up feeling exceptionally tired. had lessons den went down for the maths carnival. it was funnnn! took class photo after dat. last period, all i wanna say is, i love martin's lesson! weeeeeeeee ~

Rched home at 7. tired ttm.

Today, 21 July.

All for my dear bibi! aww, xoxo

Let's see. fell asleep at the study corner during recess today. i was so damn tiredd. last few periods was drawing some stuff for bi. and i kinda like the last period, got oreo from the new chinese teacher dat was observing us! my chinese teacher was not here today too, my heart smiled a little. oh yeah, and know wad my chinese teacher did ytd? she ask me to sit in front of the visualiser to block the sun so dat it protract clearer. k i was a bit.. pissed.

After sch, met bi at northpoint. ate kfc for lunch. headed to seletar den bought food at 711. it's a nice day today! rched home at 5, took my nap.

Right now, i studided for tmr's SS seq test. hope it goes well. gonna study more agn ltr. please let tmr be a better day, it's finally friday, let's end it happily, okay?

For self:
Sometimes, things aint dat bad, stop having the worst scenario ever in ur mind. stop thinking, dun let this chance drift by you. i know it's hard to be happy, but be happy, it affects the people around you naturally. it will only be a better day if you think it is. somethings, maybe they are not dat impt anymore, perhaps they used to be so unforgettable, yet, der is no way you can step into the past once agn to change anything. change ur future, it's still in ur hands.

Maybe creating those beautiful scenes aint to deceive myself,
Cause im gonna make them happen.

2011-07-19T23:10:00.001+08:00

Today, 19 July.

Dewi tying jiayi's hair!

I feel happy and catch dat, it's rare, pretty pretty rare.

Feel super duper sleepy when i woke up this morning. i hate mornings like this, where i just got dat hey-i-still-wanna-rest-just-a-min-i-mean-two-or-maybe-three-how-about-five-mintues-more? yes, this annoying feeling. i really wonder why must sch start so earlyyy. come on, evyone need a rest.

Lessons were quick today. the O level listening compre exam made me SO THE VERY HAPPY. 5 of us, including me had the exact same answers! weeeeeeeeeee. and wad does dat means? hehe

After the exam, slacked in the canteen for a while. the malay students so poor thing, their exam starts at 5. dewi tied french braids for me. and i told her to tie for me on thursday cause im gonna meet bibi, hehe.

4, left sch with angyanlin. we were deciding where to head to but somehow, unknowingly, our legs brought us to the back bus stop, guess it has decided the fate for us! went to northpoint, felt like eating tako. i was struggling whether to buy it or not, i've always got this I-NEED-TO-EAT-TAKO feeling whenever im with angyanlin. bought it! lastly, bought a drink from each a cup and home sweet homeee.

Took a 2hour nap, woke up at 8 still feel like slping. oh well, forced myself up. did my work. ate my dinner and here im. gonna rest at 12 tonight, i swear. it used to be me and bi's golden rule, but seems like im the only tryna keep it going. :( it's okay, i need to get ample sleep tonight. tmr's gonna be a long long long day. loads of double periods coming up and i still have duty in the range during the afternoon.

Oh yeah, and it's the class photo shoot tmr, im ready for it!

Wads up now? i felt like i've got a bloated stomach. mummy bought a sausage bun and some tiny donuts for me. think it's gonna be my breakfast tmr. yay! i finally can eat breakfast, i mean it's cool. no? i have always wanted to have breakfast early in the morning. like, some western food prepared nicely on the table for me. awwww

K, i feel like going to the airport so freaking bad. i wanna go der to study and i have no idea why. guess wad? nothing nothing, k bye.

Days like this,
blow me a kiss.

2011-07-18T21:25:00.002+08:00

Monday, July 18 ; Racial Harmony Day.

weeeeeeeeee. it's racial harmony day agn, just dat i didnt wore a traditional custom like i did for last two years. aw, i kinda regretted. should have borrowed from dewi. but it's okay, at least i dun have to sweat in those paju kurong or wadever is dat.

English - Aitiqah!

English - Hariz holding onto atiqah's shoe. k, he is so.. black here.

Dewi, wi wi wi wi wi ~

~

Big sigh. dun you hate it when ur whole entire mood is ruined just because of something dat wasnt out of ur control? i was happy, i was tryna.. but.. arghhhh. why cant you just let me happy? why? yeah, den say i blame you. i feel like banging into the wall and nv be awake. ignorant to my feelings? i will do it to myself too.

I miss lessons. i was so much happier even though i was falling asleep. at least my mind was too tired to even think, at least i have company around so i wont get moody easily. see the difference? happy in the day ; upset in the night.

I feel like going changi airport T3 to study, with a lappy and some food. i dreamt dat i was der and i felt like it was heaven. abrupt ending, k bye.

Sometimes, i really hate myself a lot.
I suck.

2011-07-17T02:38:00.000+08:00

Friday, 15 July.
Felt so so tired when i woke up. dats all i rmb.

And wad happened?!

Saturday, 16 July.

Woke up at 11. can you believe it? i kinda got the, hey-angeline-it's-time-to-be-a-gud-girl-and-get-up-from-ur-bed-NOW-i-mean-NOW feeling. showered and spent a long long time deciding wad to wear. the usual me, took half of the clothes from my clothset and change into all of them one by one, till i found the one dat suits me. HEHE

Wohoooooo! shopping with sisters. but i kinda always end up not buying anything, hehe. met up with evyone at yishun mrt. headed to somerset for lunch at kfc > flea market > orchard. walk and walked all day. my feet kinda got cramps.... ouch!

6plus, went to amk to meet my parents. steamboat for dinner, not agn! i hate this. went to granny's hse after dat. stayed till 10plus and cabbed home. it's 2am turning 3 now and i'm still awake. i think im getting sleepy. time to slp mouse. i love you ongshujun.

Silence is the last resort.
All i want is to be with you.

2011-07-14T22:59:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, 12 July.
Just another day.

Yesterday, Wednesday, 13 July.
Took the O level oral today and i guess, it made me lost all my confidence and evything was just so not in place. i was confident before i approach the invigilators, i wasnt afraid although i did felt nervous. but evything just go so screwed up the moment i sat down.

My passage, i showed no fluency, i stumbled and repeated a few phrases for a few times. i knew i couldnt make it for my reading the moment i put the peice of ruined passage back onto the table. when it rches the conversation part, i prayed hard dat i was able to interact with the invigilators confidently, smiling and talking non stop. and wads the question? i hardly understood so how can i even answer it? was it geog i thought. i rumbled all my points messily, whether it's related or non-related to the question. this is when i got really nervous. i had nothing to say, i wasnt able to give a proper respond or even think about the answers, i really couldnt. but i cant keep quiet sitting der, staring at the invigilators, angeline would nv do dat.

Eventually, i ended it with much reluctance. i know i wont score, i know i got it so ruined. i hate chinese oral now. :(

~
Enough, enough, enough. umm, the most happy thing is dat i dun have to cry when the clock strikes 12 in the midnight. bibi remembers it. you have no idea how wide i smiled, how i felt like jumping and skipping around. hehe

Thursday, 14 July ; 8th Month Anniversary.

Today is thursday but i woke up at 6 like usual. took the same usual bus. had mac breakfast at northpoint with angyanlin and sihui, did some work and headed off to sch. the mac breakfast made me feels super duper full! was still feeling energetic.

Lessons seems to be really long today, i cant stop counting how many more periods till sch ends. evy single min i wish the clock would strike 2.10. guess im just sooo looking forward of seeing bi.

Last period, chinese. my teacher talked to us about the oral and she told me i wont do so badly, we can pass it even though we didnt said it well. i really hope so, and i just found out my results need to be b3 and above or else i would need to leave the hmt class. argh. felt so stress, i really cant imagine wads gonna happen if my results are........

After sch, went to meet northpoint to meet bi. thanks bibi for the bag, i was really really happy when i saw it. i used to watch it hanging on the racks of power nine and telling myself i would get it one day. now, it's finally with me! this is my third new bag for the year, and it's the only one i love, HEHE

Headed to ssc for astons, AGAIN. stupid bibi in love with astons, i jealous eh, hehe. after we had our lunch, went back to northpoint. bi went for his dental appointment and i went home. aww, we only met each other for an hour plus. :(

~

HAPPY 8th MONTH ANNIVERSARY BABY. ♥

I wanted to post a lot more our pictures or maybe the nicer one but this stupid ongshujun cant send me.

Bibi. Thanks for remembering it. i was all ready to accept reality you know, i convinced myself this significant day no longer needs to be reminded. but i guess i never really did felt dat way. it's really important, it really was. those 4months, there were just damn disappointing. i kinda find it hard to believe in you and, argh. ah okay, enough. i need to stop thinking about them or i'll turned emo agn. imagine the pain, ouch ouch ouch ouch.

Bi, during this 8months, i know we got separated a lot of times, there were times we quarrel evy single day and there were times, where we really enjoyed each other's company. k typing till here, i feel so pissed off. yeah, go play ur game. play evy nite you want. say dun play in the end still play, like i said, you say only. angry angry angry. im very sleepy alrdy, never took my afternoon nap today. im gonna be asleep when you're done. we cant talk alrdy lah, you very happy lah.

Upset.
Super duper fuber urber weber lober upset.

2011-07-11T22:23:00.003+08:00

Today, Monday 11 July.

Woke up feeling kinda sleepy. urged myself to get prepared quickly. first two periods of amaths was not as bad as i tot. had fun messing around. it was an hour before recess and i started deciding wad to eat for recess. i really cant think of anything appealing enough, i know im picky, i always am, hehe. recess, after a big time struggle, ate curry chicken rice, ah no, it's white rice. i really hate chicken riceee.

After recess was chinese. okay, i got scolded for having 24 wrong characters for my chinese compo. i didnt mean it right? :( and i tot was blushing when my teacher was counting my wrong words, hehe, okay, i was grining, i must have broke some first-person-in-the-class-with-so-much-wrong-words or first-time-in-my-life-such-an-amazing-compo record.

Double english, AWESOME. had loads of fun distrubing the new teacher. we sang happy birthday for kim, chee hui and i cant rmb who else. we were like addicted to the birthday song.

last period emaths: mood swing. i swear i was still happy before the lesson started, the small group of us were like singing happy birthday in english, chinese and malay. but i just kinda.. aww.

After sch, thaddeus had the same earpiece as me! i was like, copycat, and we were like yeah, hi 5! AND GUESS WAD? someone came to ask me for directions agn. i must have look so kind and helpful, aww. i rmb the other time round there was this lady dat ask me how can she get to ktp hospital. we were outside the seven eleven bus stop and i brought her all the way to the interchange to board the bus der. HEHE

Went home and i tot, wads for lunch agn? mummy seems to know im gonna skip it. it's like, i rather not eat den to eat the food she's gonna buy for me. sick of it, cant blame me rite. so she cooked dinner in advance. so i kinda had my dinner as lunch at 4. and wads for dinner? i dunno. im feeling so hungry now, bye dinner, i miss you so much.

Okay, wads up with me today? did i just wrote my day out? im hungry. the moment im hungry i kinda get upset a little.

I wanna grow up.
By ur side.

2011-07-10T14:52:00.001+08:00

Friday, July 8.

Nicee? bored in class.

Saturday, 9 July.

Morning, 10 plus, met bibi for breakfast at chongpang mac. saw dat big brekfast? aww, feel like eating now. walked to northpoint, i left at 12 plus and he went to meet his frens.

Went home, feeling super sleepy. late afternoon, i just rmbed i havent had my lunch. asked my mum and she was like, 'oh...' couldnt decide where to eat and where to go, brought my parents to the lan place bi brought me to last time. there were a few dining place over there, had steamboat for lunch + dinner.

Sunday, 10 July.

Oh yeah, i changed blogskin. kinda not used to it and still find 'darkness, it will soon be over' much more nicer and suits me. but i guess i still need a change.

A beautiful sunday, perhaps ruined. sch tmr! sick of it. sick of waking up early in the morning. i hope time passes by faster and faster. i hope tmr will be a better day den today. i hope tmr i can be happy. i hope tmr is gonna be fine. i hope and i hope.

I dont talk about it anymore dont mean i'm fine,

Beacuse it's too painful to be mention.

2011-07-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 5th July.
Romeo came to visit me agn. HEHE

After sch, went to Sunplaza with huixin and sihui. spent our time watching the aunty at Mr Bean cooking pancakes. so awesomely cool.

At night, bibi came. thanks for evything. you made me go, awwwww, you're so sweet!

Wednesday, 6th July.
First two periods, had health screening. i kinda, forgot wad happened after dat.

After sch, stayed back in the canteen with Hariz to complete the emaths project. somehow, was asked to go down the range. i'm on duty today.

Thursday, 7th July.
Slept at 12 last night. still had insufficient sleep when i woke up this morning. lessons did pass by quickly like usual.

Met bibi after sch. went to northpoint golden village to catch the most horrible movie ever. i hardly understand wad they were saying. left the theate halfway. headed to the coffee shops opposite the interchange for laksa and popiah. shopped at the night market, bought food home. sweet sweet afternoon ~

~

There is a lilttle heaven dat you want to reach out for, where you can sing your freedom and laugh out your fears. would you bring me there with you?

Sometimes, i really enjoy looking at us.
Dont be a slave to your emotions.

2011-07-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Monday 4th July.
HOLIDAY. NO SCHOOL.

Today, Tuesday 5th July.
Slept at 3am this morning. woke up at 6am, not feeling sleepy. i did wonder why. guess i was too excited for sch, so i got nervous, and dat made me awake? i really kinda look forward to return to classes.

I dont know wad to write. i've got no pictures. i wish i can have a camera. maybe a really outstanding one, those dat can make go crazy just like how bags and mc spicy do. i dun wanna think, guess i wont be typing further. i seems to have stop thinking, i thought i was just running away from reality. however, on the other hand, maybe i just stopped thinking too much. i'm forcing myself to push all those it's-hurting-me-forever-thoughts away. positive eh? angeline seh. chey~ HEHE

I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen,
Perhaps snow - it's impossible.